When Doyle died I went on imdb to see what Glenn Quinn was up to lately. Finding out the actor was dead too left me feeling hollow for days. I still get choked up when I see him on Roseanne reruns.

This. I saw it earlier, but never thought to look him up until I had the DVDs. I was hoping to find the DVDs for his British series, but no such luck. Quinn was just brilliant, and I'm still saddened that he's no longer with us.

Of the TV deaths, I think that most hit me hard. Joss and company are good at that. I was more saddened, perhaps, by some of the others, but Joyce's felt the most real. For the others, I was transported to the verse, and saddened there. For Joyce's, I could well imagine that was my mom, and I was saddened here, at home.

I'm Cass, though I have to say Buffy's death becomes more and more chocking for me as the time passes and my hating for the character is dying and fading away. In that hating, I must say, there was a lot of misunderstanding and secret love.

Of TV deaths I've watched, I think the one affected me the most was Nate in Six Feet Under. The episode later, where they deal with the consequences - I was crying through half of it so much that I had to rerun it because I couldn't see anything through the screen of tears.

a) Tara - saddest because it was random and senseless, and so not the way they should die. It's like she was cheated from dying a "good" kind of death. Like a heroes' death in battle. Or a natural death. They were all soldiers who could have died a bunch of times in battle. And when Glory brain-sucked her, well at least she was the target and it was understandable that she suffered because Willow loved her. But to die from Warren's stupid stray bullet, and she wasn't even in the fight, or participating in anything at that moment except having a happy moment with Willow, and then...it's just so random and sad.

b) Joyce - hit hardest because we spent time with the gang as they dealt with the death. Hit hardest because we were there for all of it. The death. The paramedics. The funeral. The mourning. The processing, and dealing, and trying to understand, and not understanding. We were with Buffy when she told Dawn, and we were with Dawn when she was painting and happy and then...Hit hardest because they (the writers) made us stay.

Of all the people in the Jossverse who've died, whose death would you say

a) was the saddest and/or

b) hit you the hardest?

a) Buffy/Tara. I have to have a tie as they both made me cry and cry. That music they play when Buffy dives off that tower gets me every time. It occasionally comes up when I shuffle and I practically tear up. Tara's was just horrible. She was sweet and good and taken way too soon. Poor Tara and poor Willow.

b) Joyce. That was a gut-punch of an ep and Buffy and Dawn both had me in tears at different points of the ep. Even the follow up ep had me teary at the end when Buffy and Dawn just hold each other and drop to the ground, sobbing. Sniff.

The thing, for me, about Joyce's death was that, as Wolfram says, you see Dawn in the moments before. That scene has always sort of haunted me - the happy part - because you never know when your last moment of normal will be.

Yes, that was heartbreaking. Her scene breaking down in the hall at school gets me every time, too. Beautifully done.

Ok, now I am tearing up thinking about Dawn, and the nice boy in art class, and...and.... fruit punch!!!

Unfortunately, I was accidently spoiled for Tara and the whole bathroom scene as well, and I could not "enjoy" that episode, because I was just really angry.

I have to think about which death was hardest. Oddly, I'm leaning towards Fred, since they/we were left with her shell walking around as Illyria.

But what I wanted to say was that, as The Boy and I are watching BTVS and Angel all the way through in order (first time for him), we just got to Fool For Love/Darla, and I forgot how good FFL was. And I don't mean that in a "Spike ROOOOOLZ!!!1!" way; I mean the bit in the beginning where Buffy is talking to Giles and she wants to know why the Watchers didn't keep records of how their Slayers died, and Giles has that great delivery on "....painful." Meep.

And really, FFL was when JM was still reined in from chewing the scenery, and we got to see his ignominous past as William the bloody awful poet, and all Sex Pistoled up killing the Slayer on the subway, and -- oh, the subway scene!

The way the subway and alley scenes are intercut still blow me away. I think the editing on that section was flawless.

And Spike gets to make the "Death Is Your Art" speech, which is SO true, and poignant because we know what's coming in The Gift.

And then! The ending hit me completely differently this time than it did when it first aired. I'd seen it a kajillion times, because I loved this episode all along, so I re-watched it a ton, and then end, with Spike comforting Buffy, always just made me say Awwwww. But it's been a handful of years since I saw it, and that distance just made it really stand out to me how unexpected and yet totally in character it was for Spike to sit down next to Buffy and try to be comforting. That it was the only thing he could have done, and yet it was so unexpected.

And yes, I do mean unexpected even though I'd seen it a kajillion times before.

Good stuff, man.

I love how I see something new in almost every episode.

Damn, I need to rewatch that.