I would like to start the fabulous office with on-site daycare on a sliding scale, cafeteria, casual Fridays, flex-time, on-site gym, free parking, transit checks, and tele-communiting available to all as needed.

Make a place so cool, no one wants to tele-commute.

You can all relax - I found the ticket.

60 minutes is the bare minimum for a good massage, IMHO.

You just reminded me to sign up for mine on Friday, but alas, there was only a half-hour slot left. Wah! Will have to go without full-body.

I do suffer so.

(No, it isn't free, but it's $30 for an hour and frankly I think that's pretty good.)

We have two masseueses who come in once a month to give free 20-minute massages in the conference room. It's the best perk ever.

Man, that's hot. And 20 minutes is short enough that I'd be able to go back to work after, but still get something out of it.

If someone stopped massaging me after 20 minutes, I'd feel near duty-bound to kill them.

cafeteria

Make sure it's got a hofbrau carving station and I'm in. They had this at the Fed when I worked there. Roasted lamb sandwiches with au jus gravy. Guh.

I've been known to go into work still wearing my pajamas. It's nice.

The other side of that particuar coin is the lack of clean drinking water and danger of Tetanis and bubonic plague.

I would really, really appreciate the masseuse thing. Wheelbarrows full of muck can have a terrible effect on the back, perhaps unsurprisingly.

Jars, where are you with sketchy drinking water?

In the middle of a field. We've got a tap connected to some pipe or other, but it's not drinkable until we boil it. Which we can do when we have electricity, but that goes from time to time, usually on the coldest, blusteriest days of the year.

I just really really need to be able to wear jeans to work, is all.