Okay, so I have to post this one:
Lena: Not to insult any members of any religion, but the door-to-door thing reminds me of a story my ex-ex-boss used to tell, about his college years. The man lived with a hairy, overweight male student from Peru in a double-wide trailer, where they drank beer and dared each other to do the dishes on a weekly basis.
One day, my boss-to-be was having some nice vegging time when BOOM, his roommate came flying through the front door. "Quick!" the roommate says. "Grab all the beer bottles you can find and put them all around the room!" With this, the roommate bolts into the back.
My boss-to-be was puzzled but willing to go along with it, so he gathered up a few dozen beer bottles and put them in random places around the room. Moments later, the hairy, overweight, Peruvian roommate comes bounding back into the living room, clad only in tiger-skin bikini underwear. He proceeds to strew the place with a year's worth of Playboy issues.
My boss, totally nonplussed, asks what the hell is going on. His roommate grabs a bottle of whiskey and shouts, "Don't you know? THE MORMONS ARE COMING!" He then proceeds to dump half the bottle of whiskey on himself before the doorbell rings. At that, he flings open the door, revealing himself in all his splendor to the astonished mild-mannered folk on their doorstep, and cries, "Welcome! We've been WAITING for you!"
They fled in terror.
Beverly: How is Nilly?
Nilly: She's not here. She's working on the PC near this computer, the one that has Hebrew fonts, on her paper, the one that's due today. I'm her keyboard, and I'm having a hard time pushing each of my buttons down enough for their letters to appear on screen without anybody actually clicking them from above. Also, I feel kind of left out.
Okay, so I have to post this one:
Which is part of the Peruvian Squirrel Pimps discussion.
honest yo dog, people are just WRONG!
funny, but wrong.
Another person who's been gone too long:
Anya G.:
"Cordelia: Xanax, Ms. Dworkin?"
Honest yo DOG. Parfebyu.
t /TT joke
Mang. I am the worst student ever. I actually think I'm in OK shape, but honestly? Shouldn't I be studying more? Or something? Oy.
Theirs was a forbidden love...
shrift:
Our Coca-Cola vending machine upstairs has an interesting picture on it around eye-level for me. Two blue-collar, rough'n'ready guys are sitting around break table, enjoying the refreshment of a bottle of nice, cool, Coca-Cola Classic. To the left is a smiling Ron, about ready to open his 20 oz. bottle. To the right, we have Butch, wearing a long-sleeved jean shirt, already well on his way to finishing off his tasty Coke product.
The Benadryl is telling me to write a new slash saga called, "The Ballad of Butch and Ron."
PMM:
Do it! Do it!
Steph L:
BWAH! Shrift has descended to vending machine male model slash!
ita:
My vending machine has no male models.
Grump.
Theodosia:
Next she'll be suggesting threesomes-minus-one to her attractive male co-workers.
shrift:
Will Ron the dark-haired, happy-go-lucky mechanic find true love with Butch, his titian-haired spitfire of a coworker? Will the break table survive their burgeoning passion? Tune in for the next installment of "The Ballad of Butch and Ron"!
