Eeek!

March 10, 2005 -- ACTION hero Bruce Willis (above) got some action of a different kind after the screening of his new blood-and-guts flick, "Hostage." At an after-after-party at the Peninsula Hotel early yesterday, Willis, who turns 50 this month, and teen queen Lindsay Lohan, 18, enjoyed a mutual gropefest. "At one point, Bruce had Lindsay's pants down far enough to reveal a tattoo that said 'La Bella Vista' (The Beautiful View) on her right cheek," says our spywitness. Eventually, Willis and a few friends, including Lohan, took the party upstairs to his suite.

I used my lunch break to buy 2 weeks' worth of groceries (minus the charmin I forgot about), then when I got back to the office I found out someone had bought too much salad from the local Italian restaurant. So, salmon, gouda cheese, tomatoes, triscuits, and about 8 oz. of really good mista salad for lunch. Shame I can't follow it up with a nap.

There's fish in caesar dressing? People are tricksy.

Anchovies.

ita, why must you torture us so?

How old is Ashton? Maybe we can work some Buffista mojo to fix him and Lindsay up, and reunite Demi and Bruce, so that they're only humiliating their kids with each other.

On the upside of today, I now have 4615728 pixels of screen real estate to play with, and they're even usefully arranged.

What kind of monitor(s) do you have? I have two 21" monitors on my work computer, and still I only have 2306048 pixels.

Maybe I can convice my bosses to buy me bigger monitors by saying, 'But ita has twice the screen real estate that I do."

There's fish in caesar dressing? People are tricksy.

Worcestershire sauce, too.

And egg, ita. Egg. Traditionally raw, although a lot of places probably use pasteurized egg, now.

Worcestershire sauce, too.

Never use that for an embalming fluid by the way.

There's fish in caesar dressing? People are tricksy.

Worcestershire sauce, too.

And love.