Did I tell you about the woman who had a hambone at her seder?

How is this split pea soup different from every other split pea soup?

I eat pork. I drive on Saturday. I haven't been to synagogue in a long time. I have a tattoo.

I'm not really a practicing Jew, the way my grandmother is. So I don't really have much to say to anyone not keeping kosher, and I wouldn't say anything even if I did, because to each his/her own.

However, if I was planning a Good Friday meal in order to educate people about an important part Christianity, I wouldn't plan the meal at steakhouse. And if I had made such a mistake, I wouldn't be more worried that I offered prime rib on the flyer, I'd be worried about respecting the religion I was trying to teach about.

I know this may be sensitive because I'm criticising someone's mother, here. I'm just appalled.

The part that may be funny only to me is that my family's traditional Good Friday dinner when I was growing up was (veggie) pizza.

Unsweetened cocoa.

No. I meant on the container. Underneath all of the nutritional info.

I know the sweetened cocoa had alkali listed.

I meant on the container.

So did I. Unsweetened cocoa. That's it, that's all she wrote. Unsweetened and cocoa. Cocoa, preceded by unsweetened.

Unsweetened cocoa.

Okay. So weird. The sweetened says

"cocoa dutch processed with alkali"

Weird.

(Oh, and the Haggadah used by most families I know is the one made by Maxwell House, which has everything in both Hebrew and English and is about $3, or free if you buy enough coffee, I think.)

ah ha ha ha ha! Hil made me laugh. This is the same Haggadah my family uses.

Back when my father led them, our seders were 9 kinds of wrong. But they were fun.

Okay, I'm not really here. I'm going to bed. goodnight.

Jesus' last meal contained nothing resembling pizza, he probably had lamb.

"And when he had given thanks Jesus took the pizza cutter and sliced the thick crust extra pepperoni in half and said, 'This is my body which is broken for you.'"

(My DH wishes to be credited as a contributor to the above riff.)

This is reminding me of the story one of my mom's friends told me about the time that she made Brunswick Stew for a company picnic, at a company that employed a lot of Jews. She didn't really think about it, it was just basically the one thing she knew how to make, so she made that, and brought it, and people were eating it, and enjoying it, and then one of her Jewish co-workers was like, "This is great, what's in it?" And then she realized what she had done. So she was like, "Pheasant!" Because she didn't want to be the one to mention that they were eating pork, and the first meat that popped to mind was pheasant.

It's horrible, and yet it was funny. Whose first thoughts go towards pheasants?

Bitter herbs, symbolozing how bitter we were about the whole slavery thing.

Most people I know use horseradish for the bitter herbs. You can get it in most groceries. People close to me can get it from my yard.

I don't know who published my Haggadah. I'll have to dig it out to check. It's got that 1970s fake stained glass look to it.

Ooo!!!!!!!!!!! Passover is coming!!!! That means macaroons!!!

(You know, times like these, I realize just why it is I've had Jewish friends assume I'm of the people...)