So, I went to dance class, hoping to turn a semi-crappy day around, and dance class was kind of crap too. I feel a desperate need to scrub out my lungs, since I ended up with a partner who was nice enough, but who STUNK SO BAD. Ohmygod. WHY don't people use deodorant and breath mints? WHY?

I feel like crying.

I'm so sorry, Ali. My krav partner spat in my face (emphasis, don't you know?), and I thought that was sucky. You totally win in the losing thing.

Shower with the nice-smelling stuff.

Ali, this wasn't the mean one who pushed you, is it?

OK. Here is my plan. We get together and rent David Letterman a clue.

Jesse and Kat are cracking me up tonight with that Keeper thing.

Aw! I used to have a Lamby, too. Most of my toys had names like that, except my doll, Chocolate Milk.

Well, in the interests of full disclosure, I should admit that it is I, not Franny, who has named Lamby. She's kind of like Knuffle Bunny that way.

Alibelle, I totally know your pain. My friend talked me into taking a ballroom dance lesson, and the teacher was DRIPPING sweat the whole time. And I had to touch him. It woogied me out completely.

I'm so sorry, Ali. My krav partner spat in my face (emphasis, don't you know?), and I thought that was sucky. You totally win in the losing thing.

Spitting is not okay. I gave the last person to spit in my face a time out. He might have been five, but he was really sorry afterwards. Well, until the camp director basically told him he could do whatever he wanted to me since his parents have money, but that's another story. And now that I'm thinking about it, I should've encouraged him to spit in her face. Anyway, I hope you kicked the guy in the head, to clear that up for him.

Shower with the nice-smelling stuff.

Absolutely. Because even the downpour was unable to erase his smell from my skin. THAT'S HOW STINKY HE WAS. He was so stinky that I now smell like him, despite getting soaked.

Ali, this wasn't the mean one who pushed you, is it?

No. Although I think I might have preferred that, because a push is over quickly, and I could've just yelled at him, and that would've made me feel better. But, you know, emphasis on might.

I am the only Marty here.

Yet, I am strong.

Alibelle, I totally know your pain. My friend talked me into taking a ballroom dance lesson, and the teacher was DRIPPING sweat the whole time. And I had to touch him. It woogied me out completely.

Yeah, that's gross. Somehow, I can kind of forgive it, though, if they are obviously working up the sweat as they are dancing with you because, hey!, exercise, and it happens. Starting off with hideous breath, and a complete lack of deodorants, so that one's au naturelle scent emanates strongly from you, is much less forgivable. Unfortunately, I was new to this class, and so I didn't know to stay away from where this guy was. I realized only after he had already asked me to dance that all the other girls had quickly scattered to the other side of the room when it was time to grab a partner. Obviously, they had already learned the lesson.

Man. I feel really mean complaining so much about this, but I am also really cranky right now, so I'm finding it difficult to stop.

Okay. Um. Maybe tomorrow I'll see one of those rainbows that Kat mentioned. If not, I'll still get to see the pretty pink light that shines through my pink umbrella, so that will be fun.

Well, until the camp director basically told him he could do whatever he wanted to me since his parents have money, but that's another story.

You had one of those, too?

ION, I'm looking at Birthright Israel programs, and realizing that, as amazing as hiking up Masada sounds, I don't think I can do it. Or, I can, but I can't keep up with a group of other people, and I can't do that and do a lot of walking the day before and the day after. I hate this.