Congratulations, Jilli!

Question for the writing hivemind:

The manuscript I'm working is meant to be first in a series, so one of the new-to-me issues I'm dealing with is striking the right balance between making each volume reasonably self-contained and still having an overarching plot and theme for the series as a whole.

The first volume is all about a little group of people coming together and deciding to fight back after a severe military setback. In the second volume, the group gets a little larger and better organized, but it's the same basic idea--they're scrappy resistance fighters trying to harass a much larger enemy force until help gets there. And they're confident that help is on the way, because there's a whole large army out there that's on their side. It's just that the army in question is at such a distance (and in a relatively low-tech world with no mechanized transport or immediate communication) that it may be a year or so before they get there.

Anyway, the army tries to come to the rescue, only to be utterly annihilated in an ambush--very few survivors, most of them imprisoned under harsh conditions or sold into slavery, etc. One officer escapes and sets out on an odyssey to get back to Our Heroes and let them know what happened.

So, I have two dilemmas: When should the reader find out about the massacre of the army, and when should the characters find out?

My initial thought for the first question was to have it be the prologue of Book Two. But now I'm wondering if it'd be better as the epilogue of Book One, since I'm only a third of the way into the story and already my characters are reassuring each other that all they have to do is hang on till the cavalry (and infantry and artillery) arrive. So I'm afraid my readers will think I've set up an easy solution, and therefore I need to let them know that there is no cavalry sooner rather than later. OTOH, kind of a downer to directly follow up Our Heroes' unlikely triumph in the battle at the end of Book One with the Gory Depressing Massacre Scene of Hopelessness. Thoughts?

On the question of when my characters find out they're on their own, I know it's going to be toward the end of Book Two. I just can't decide if it's before or after that book's Climactic Unlikely Battlefield Triumph. Before would give me a really bleak black moment before Our Heroes decide to keep fighting anyway, but after would have some dramatic potential, too, because Our Heroes could then end the book wondering if they're fighting for a hopeless cause and so on. Thoughts on that one?

Hm. My tendency would be to start Book Two with a scene of Big Ol' Army of Save the Day-ness walking through Ambush Land and then there's a shot, a shout, some shit...but we don't know they's all corpsified yet. Leave the reader hanging.

Then, later on, Officer of Gloomy Messageosity can show up and be all "Hey, yeah, you know that big ol' Army of Save the Day-ness? Funny story..."

Ooh, I like, though it would cut into my plans to occasionally switch to Major Gloom's POV as he makes his way over mountain, desert, and ocean to bring his message of doom.

I also need to decide if it's too much of a coincidence for Major Gloom to be the cousin of one of my other main characters. It's tidy, and gives them family when the rest of their relatives are A) dead or B) traitors. OTOH, why would the one person who makes it back from the ginormous army just happen to be related to one of Our Heroes.

I would tend to not make them related. Or to make them totally "No WAY! You know so and so? Where are you from? Did they show up at the last reunion picnic? No? Man. I can't believe we're related!"

ETA: I suppose you could keep the Major Gloom's trek to Mordor, if you're clever and don't relate why he's alone or what message he bears. Maybe even be so vague so as the reader doesn't even know he comes from the Former Army of Save the Day-ness...just, every now and again the reader can go "Who is this intriguing fellow starving to death in a mountain pass? Hmmm..."

Jilli, I don't know if I've said congrats, but I've surely meant it.

Susan, how about ending book 1 on the big-assed-army cliffhanger?

Susan, how about ending book 1 on the big-assed-army cliffhanger?

I'm considering it. I just can't decide whether that'll hook readers by making them wonder when Our Heroes will find out or just make them mad at me by ending on a cliffhanger. Of course, the two are not mutually exclusive. The fact that I've been shaking my fist toward the other end of the country and saying "DAMN you, Naomi Novik!" for the past several months doesn't mean I'm not awaiting the next Temeraire novel with bated breath.

I would tend to not make them related. Or to make them totally "No WAY! You know so and so? Where are you from? Did they show up at the last reunion picnic? No? Man. I can't believe we're related!"

You're probably right--it's just that it occurred to me that it would add to Major Gloom's misery to finally deliver his message only to discover that his parents committed treason in his absence, which might make Our Heroes doubt the truth of his message, and would leave him with the only member of his family that he still likes and trusts his supposedly flighty 18-year-old girl cousin.

mad at me by ending on a cliffhanger.

I might be mad but I think you could end the second-to-last chapter with the army in peril and then have a solid conclusion with the heroes in the last chapter, so it felt final but left you wanting more.

I suppose you could keep the Major Gloom's trek to Mordor, if you're clever and don't relate why he's alone or what message he bears. Maybe even be so vague so as the reader doesn't even know he comes from the Former Army of Save the Day-ness...just, every now and again the reader can go "Who is this intriguing fellow starving to death in a mountain pass? Hmmm..."

As a reader, if these interludes are not either clearly connected, or really engaging, I find them frustrating and wtf.

I rather like ita's idea, of the big army going into battle as the epilogue for Book 1 (If I'm reading that right), even if that doesn't answer the when for characters or reader.

unofficial whoot! for Jilli.

Well, I feel like for structural reasons it would need to be an epilogue, because otherwise I'd be introducing a whole new setting and set of POV characters in the second-to-last chapter. While the faraway army is discussed throughout the book, they're never an on-screen presence, and I'm limiting myself strictly to five POV characters no matter how tempted I am to wander into other heads. So if I break that structure, I'd rather do it as sort of a bookend to the main narrative.