Hm. My tendency would be to start Book Two with a scene of Big Ol' Army of Save the Day-ness walking through Ambush Land and then there's a shot, a shout, some shit...but we don't know they's all corpsified yet. Leave the reader hanging.

Then, later on, Officer of Gloomy Messageosity can show up and be all "Hey, yeah, you know that big ol' Army of Save the Day-ness? Funny story..."

Ooh, I like, though it would cut into my plans to occasionally switch to Major Gloom's POV as he makes his way over mountain, desert, and ocean to bring his message of doom.

I also need to decide if it's too much of a coincidence for Major Gloom to be the cousin of one of my other main characters. It's tidy, and gives them family when the rest of their relatives are A) dead or B) traitors. OTOH, why would the one person who makes it back from the ginormous army just happen to be related to one of Our Heroes.

I would tend to not make them related. Or to make them totally "No WAY! You know so and so? Where are you from? Did they show up at the last reunion picnic? No? Man. I can't believe we're related!"

ETA: I suppose you could keep the Major Gloom's trek to Mordor, if you're clever and don't relate why he's alone or what message he bears. Maybe even be so vague so as the reader doesn't even know he comes from the Former Army of Save the Day-ness...just, every now and again the reader can go "Who is this intriguing fellow starving to death in a mountain pass? Hmmm..."

Jilli, I don't know if I've said congrats, but I've surely meant it.

Susan, how about ending book 1 on the big-assed-army cliffhanger?

Susan, how about ending book 1 on the big-assed-army cliffhanger?

I'm considering it. I just can't decide whether that'll hook readers by making them wonder when Our Heroes will find out or just make them mad at me by ending on a cliffhanger. Of course, the two are not mutually exclusive. The fact that I've been shaking my fist toward the other end of the country and saying "DAMN you, Naomi Novik!" for the past several months doesn't mean I'm not awaiting the next Temeraire novel with bated breath.

I would tend to not make them related. Or to make them totally "No WAY! You know so and so? Where are you from? Did they show up at the last reunion picnic? No? Man. I can't believe we're related!"

You're probably right--it's just that it occurred to me that it would add to Major Gloom's misery to finally deliver his message only to discover that his parents committed treason in his absence, which might make Our Heroes doubt the truth of his message, and would leave him with the only member of his family that he still likes and trusts his supposedly flighty 18-year-old girl cousin.

mad at me by ending on a cliffhanger.

I might be mad but I think you could end the second-to-last chapter with the army in peril and then have a solid conclusion with the heroes in the last chapter, so it felt final but left you wanting more.

I suppose you could keep the Major Gloom's trek to Mordor, if you're clever and don't relate why he's alone or what message he bears. Maybe even be so vague so as the reader doesn't even know he comes from the Former Army of Save the Day-ness...just, every now and again the reader can go "Who is this intriguing fellow starving to death in a mountain pass? Hmmm..."

As a reader, if these interludes are not either clearly connected, or really engaging, I find them frustrating and wtf.

I rather like ita's idea, of the big army going into battle as the epilogue for Book 1 (If I'm reading that right), even if that doesn't answer the when for characters or reader.

unofficial whoot! for Jilli.

Well, I feel like for structural reasons it would need to be an epilogue, because otherwise I'd be introducing a whole new setting and set of POV characters in the second-to-last chapter. While the faraway army is discussed throughout the book, they're never an on-screen presence, and I'm limiting myself strictly to five POV characters no matter how tempted I am to wander into other heads. So if I break that structure, I'd rather do it as sort of a bookend to the main narrative.

Susan, what if you make specific reference to a particular character enough that he feels like a character we know, and then jump to him as PoV with the cavalry. That might give continuity.

I am definitely with you that it would need to be an epilogue.

Ok, so I got rejected by a magazine that we can just call Artistic_Cachet for my purposes. Because it's one of those ones writing teachers love, but I'm not mad at them specifically...being on the other end of the rejection slip has made me take that a bit less personally. But I'm afraid I'm not growing as a writer, and I don't know how.(Yeah, I know, practice.) But I don't have time or money to read every literary magazine in america and start trying to write "New Yorker" stories, "Glimmer train" stories and etc. I need to do what I do...better.That's why a class wouldn't work(that, and no $$)because I tend to hero-worship and try to please the instructors. And I hated my last writing group.