I just emailed a partial and synopsis to my agent, who's eager to see what I've been working on this summer.
I'm askeert. I don't know what I'm going to do if there's an email in my inbox tomorrow saying it's a terrible idea, unmarketable and unsuited to my voice. As tough as this story has been to write so far, I'm growing fond of the characters. I want to follow them all the way to the big triumphal scene I've got planned for the denouement of Book 4. What I'm not confident about is whether I'm writer enough to do justice to the story.
Is this the story I was reading? It was good.
Yeah, it's the same one, though I just sent her the first three chapters, so it didn't include that scene.
wanders into thread, shaking slightly
I just sent the final draft of my book proposal to my agent. Why am I so nervous?
Well, if it's anything like my nervousness, it's "What if she hates it now that I've put so much love and effort into it?"
Deep breaths, Jilli. She'll love it!
Go, Jillli! I can't imagine that they won't love it.
Jilli, it is going to really really really be okay.
She's your partner in this, and she wants to sell your book and make you millions so she can have some of the millions.
And she's a nice lady.
Sort of...well, I hate the word "blocked" but I guess I am.(It does make me feel like some dork in a beret flouncing around going "I cannot *work* in these conditions!" to talk about it that way, but I guess I've barely stopped writing in the past three years...it was bound to happen once in a while, right?)
But it really makes me feel bad that the one thing going on in my life...kind of, isn't.
Whereas I'm so desperate for a creative outlet that I wrote poetry in my dream last night. Then posted it here, and you guys liked it, although someone using the screen name NerdNick didn't think it was sexy enough.
I wish I slept with a pencil and notebook near the bed, because I remembered a bit of it on waking but can't remember it now, and I bet it would be funny as all get-out. Magnetic Subconscious Poetry.
