My first go at this.

Kingfish

They accused you of being a dictator, Julius Caesar by way of Winn Parish. They said it was your narcissism and rule by fiat that killed you. I think if you were their crook, if you'd spun the sweat of our brows into more gold for them instead of turning swamp and gravel to roads and bridges, you'd have retired to the calm life you said you craved.

I went to the capitol and fingered the holes where the bullets passed through you and into the cold marble. It was your ideas that killed you, "Every man a king, but no man wears a crown." You spoke of a time when "the powerful will be elated by the well being of all, rather than through their greed."

Now, I see our people dispersed, suffering in the face of indifferent and greedy power. I remember how I felt that tiny space that still may contain some of my kinsman's blood, and repeat your last words, "Don't let me die, I still have got so much to do."

I think that's brilliant.

Thank you erika. A compliment from you is a wonderful way to start my day.

Damn, DJ, that kicked ass.

Does anybody have time to take a look at some pages?

I'll have time tonight erika.

Because I need to vent about this somewhere:

As an editor in the technology industry/field/war/whatever it's currently being called, I shouldn't be saying this, but I don't care. I do not consider "passive voice" to be a horrible sin in technical writing. Yes, it should be avoided, but sometimes the most important thing is the clarity of the documentation, not the writing style. Can the reader easily and quickly understand what they need to do? Great! If not, there is a problem.

I feel much better for having said that.

t /venty-cakes

Passive voice is not of the devil, sometimes it's just what works best in the situation.

I had this fight about a month ago. What if the focus is not the one performing the action. I suppose I could have worded it awkwardly, but without the passive, it seemed like the paragraph was scattershot.