I went to college with a Cinnamon, a Velvet and a Michelin. And to high school with a Precious Love.

Oh, dear lord.

I was just thinking, the other day in K-Mart, that if I hear one more woman calling her daughter "Destiny," I will buy a crossbow. And get Deb to teach me to use it.

Just crank the bow, and aim a little higher than you want to hit. (An Uzi works in much the same way, cept the uzi jumps around a lot more, and you aim LOWER than what you want to hit.)

Don't front that my wife's shit ain't tight, bitches. Although that ire isn't all for you...I don't want to be writing twentysomething crips living on peanut butter when I'm ninety, either. Cinnamon should be a man living as a woman, but she's probably not, right?

Cinnamon should be a man living as a woman, but she's probably not, right?

Nope. Apparently she is the half-Druid sister of another half-Druid (named Isabella, which is one big WTF?!) who has "mated with" a Demon (capital D), and is now a Fledgling learning her Druidic powers.

::cries::

Oh, look. Fanfic. Without the fan part.

Like, time-specific Druids? Or modern-day druids? Because there weren't a lot of Cinnamon's and Isabella's running about in pre-Roman Britain.

Apparently she is the half-Druid sister of another half-Druid (named Isabella, which is one big WTF?!) who has "mated with" a Demon (capital D), and is now a Fledgling learning her Druidic powers.

That makes the baby Jesus, baby Gaia, baby Buddha, baby Devi, and baby Mohammed cry.

OMG, people get published off ff.net now?! Fuck *me*. Although there's one jerk that keeps trying to faux- Chopra Breath&Shadow with of all things, a tiresome essay about the hippocampus. Hated it this year, hated it last year, maybe the only thing in my life that feels like forevah is hating this one piece.

Baby Zeus, OTOH, kinda turned on.

Oh, look. Fanfic. Without the fan part.

ita gets it in one. Exactly!

And don't get me wrong -- I love paranormal stuff, vampires, demons, what have you, but these are big mushy "body demons" and "mind demons" and there are Vampire Princes (again with the capitals) and everyone is connected by their thoughts and mates Imprint upon each other, and the author is so fucking in love with the sound of her own voice, she has no idea that it's absolute crap.

And it's being published. This is, in fact, the second book in a series of five. I know the editor, and I think she's lost her mind. For one, she doesn't usually like or "get" paranormal stuff, and she told me, "This is going to change the face of romance! Just like Diana Gabaldon did!"

Um, no. If it changes romance, it will be for the worse.

And that, my friends, is just how fucked up publishing can be.

Because there weren't a lot of Cinnamon's and Isabella's running about in pre-Roman Britain.

No, they're half human (or something) but have leftover Druidic DNA (or something) which somehow has been activated.

::cries more::