Book: Where's the doctor? Not back yet? Zoe: (beat) We don't make him hurry for the little stuff. He'll be along. Book: He could hurry... a little.

'Safe'


The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...  

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.


Strix - Mar 21, 2005 2:16:27 pm PST #715 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

6 lipsticks, 2 glosses, all in the same family of pink. An inhaler lives in detente with two packs of clove cigarettes and an empty book of matches. Enough bits of paper to line a large rats' nest litters the bottoms of this structured black bag, along with two highlighters and a dead red pen. An anemic peanut-sized penis pencil topper hides under all the paper debris like a dirty secret, and fine purple powder from an exploded eye shadow coats the fingers of anyone brave enough to dare the bag.

A bottle of iburpofen large enough for most third-world health clinics clinks and rattles alongside a keychain heavy enough to use as a weapon, and a lone crusty Tictac is the last survivor fleeing from the train wreck that is my purse.


Beverly - Mar 21, 2005 2:24:20 pm PST #716 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

Deb, I think a scene is actually better than a list. It's just so difficult to do with the word limit.

But I loved your Ringan & Penny scene--so in character for them both.

This:

inhaler lives in detente with two packs of clove cigarettes and an empty book of matches

I love this. I love the whole thing, Erin. I'd love to see it expanded to give a reason for sifting through the purse. I think that's what's missing from the "lists."

Even though Amy's reads more like a description (very poignant, too) than a list. There just isn't enough room with a 100 word limit to *do* very much more than list items.

Oh, Ms. Moderator, Ma'am? Can we have a word-embiggening, just for this one week's topic, please? If we're very, very good? We promise to write well if you'll say yes.


deborah grabien - Mar 21, 2005 2:28:11 pm PST #717 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Bev, I tend to think that the imposition of a 100-word limit on this kind of category is a perfect discipline tool.

Make the items in the list fewer, but make 'em count.


Beverly - Mar 21, 2005 2:31:48 pm PST #718 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

Okay. 's true, I'm a wordy girl by nature. I'll break out the machete.


erikaj - Mar 21, 2005 2:37:02 pm PST #719 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

Word limits are bourgeois.;) (says she who almost always takes too damn many, by 100 at least. Want. Take. Have)


deborah grabien - Mar 21, 2005 2:45:13 pm PST #720 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

What I Brought With Me From Erica Road

One pair of knickers, silk. Five more, stretchy cotton blend.

Bras, more than a few. He liked the lacy ones; I preferred elegant and sleek.

Fleecy pajamas. He called them my "passion-killers", laughing at me. They're neatly folded now.

That antique dress he bought me from Opening Thursday. Cocoa lace, a hundred covered buttons. I wore it to the Stones in Chicago.

No pictures, not one, that I'm aware of; I burned them all. No personal notes. No mementos. Anything not sterile would hurt too much to bear.

So how can a suitcase full of clothing cause this much pain?


deborah grabien - Mar 21, 2005 2:49:30 pm PST #721 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Amy, I just went back and reread your two, and they suddenly went PINGPINGPING. Wow. Dark.


Susan W. - Mar 21, 2005 2:56:34 pm PST #722 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

With apologies to Tim O'Brien:

The Things She Carries

Anna carries the clothes on her back, plus one change of dress and two of linen. She carries letters from her brother and her Great-Aunt Sophia, raked into her satchel at the last minute as she prepared to flee. In a little purse she carries coin, Spanish and English, for bribes and tips and better food and beds en route. She carries the horror of having killed a man, accident or no, and the memory of his ruined dead face. And though she won’t realize it for a few days yet, she carries a child, conceived under the stars four weeks ago.


deborah grabien - Mar 21, 2005 3:02:11 pm PST #723 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Susan, that's gorgeous, especially those last two sentences.

One fix: "She carries a letters" Plural? Singular?


Susan W. - Mar 21, 2005 3:05:51 pm PST #724 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

Good catch, Deb. It changed from a letter to letters mid-thought, so that slipped in.