Aw, but I like Trevor! What can I say, I've got a thing for blonds.
Damn it! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey!
Xander ,'Lessons'
The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
SailAweigh - Jun 05, 2006 6:31:13 pm PDT #7020 of 10001
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Strix - Jun 05, 2006 6:33:03 pm PDT #7021 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
I need to flesh him out, bad.
Man, porny AGAIN. Dammit.
I have muc of his backstory all in my head. Being flat on my back and wheezing actually gave me some good pondering time.
Strix - Jun 05, 2006 6:36:00 pm PDT #7022 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
I like Trevor, too. He's got a backstory all of his own, but he's more of a beta-male than Cillian, and for my first foray into romance, I think I want to stick with paths that are more familiar to me. Go alpha, choose alpha!
SailAweigh - Jun 06, 2006 3:22:10 am PDT #7023 of 10001
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Alpha, beta, gamma; they all have their uses. Someone for everyone, I say!
Consuela - Jun 06, 2006 5:36:56 am PDT #7024 of 10001
We are Buffistas. This isn't our first apocalypse. -- Pix
Congratulations, Erika!
erikaj - Jun 06, 2006 5:57:23 am PDT #7025 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
Thanks, everybody!
sj - Jun 06, 2006 6:17:05 am PDT #7026 of 10001
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Yay, Erika! Congratulations!
deborah grabien - Jun 06, 2006 10:38:05 am PDT #7027 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Gar, you have feedback. Not sure if it's any use - as mentioned, I'm clueless about non-fiction proposals - but for what it's worth, check your email.
Typo Boy - Jun 06, 2006 10:47:04 am PDT #7028 of 10001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
Deb thanks! It is all useful.
Typo Boy - Jun 06, 2006 11:03:41 am PDT #7029 of 10001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
OK - this is the modified paragraph. Still a weak hook?
An electric four passenger sedan travels from Boston to New York (216 miles) at normal highway speeds on a single charge; it uses so little power, that a gasoline powered car with equivalent mileage would need to get more than 200 miles per gallon. But, this is not the latest breakthrough, available at top prices to green yuppies; a test drive showed off the Solectria Sunrise on October 24, 1997 – a car slated to retail for as little as $20,000, less than the median price for new cars at that time. You have no reason to feel guilty for not owning one, though; it was never put on the market.
(The other stuff was easy to fix - except the summary which I'm still thinking about.) If we have a chapter by chapter summary do we need comprehensive summary of the book besides? Especially since it is essentially a list book. We are taking stuff and adding it up to come to a conclusion. A summary that left that out would be five paragraphs. One that put it in would duplicate the chapter by chapter summary.)