I need to flesh him out, bad.
Man, porny AGAIN. Dammit.
I have muc of his backstory all in my head. Being flat on my back and wheezing actually gave me some good pondering time.
Mercy is the mark of a great man. Guess I'm just a good man. Well, I'm all right.
Mal ,'Shindig'
The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Strix - Jun 05, 2006 6:33:03 pm PDT #7021 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
Strix - Jun 05, 2006 6:36:00 pm PDT #7022 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
I like Trevor, too. He's got a backstory all of his own, but he's more of a beta-male than Cillian, and for my first foray into romance, I think I want to stick with paths that are more familiar to me. Go alpha, choose alpha!
SailAweigh - Jun 06, 2006 3:22:10 am PDT #7023 of 10001
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Alpha, beta, gamma; they all have their uses. Someone for everyone, I say!
Consuela - Jun 06, 2006 5:36:56 am PDT #7024 of 10001
We are Buffistas. This isn't our first apocalypse. -- Pix
Congratulations, Erika!
erikaj - Jun 06, 2006 5:57:23 am PDT #7025 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
Thanks, everybody!
sj - Jun 06, 2006 6:17:05 am PDT #7026 of 10001
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Yay, Erika! Congratulations!
deborah grabien - Jun 06, 2006 10:38:05 am PDT #7027 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Gar, you have feedback. Not sure if it's any use - as mentioned, I'm clueless about non-fiction proposals - but for what it's worth, check your email.
Typo Boy - Jun 06, 2006 10:47:04 am PDT #7028 of 10001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
Deb thanks! It is all useful.
Typo Boy - Jun 06, 2006 11:03:41 am PDT #7029 of 10001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.
OK - this is the modified paragraph. Still a weak hook?
An electric four passenger sedan travels from Boston to New York (216 miles) at normal highway speeds on a single charge; it uses so little power, that a gasoline powered car with equivalent mileage would need to get more than 200 miles per gallon. But, this is not the latest breakthrough, available at top prices to green yuppies; a test drive showed off the Solectria Sunrise on October 24, 1997 – a car slated to retail for as little as $20,000, less than the median price for new cars at that time. You have no reason to feel guilty for not owning one, though; it was never put on the market.
(The other stuff was easy to fix - except the summary which I'm still thinking about.) If we have a chapter by chapter summary do we need comprehensive summary of the book besides? Especially since it is essentially a list book. We are taking stuff and adding it up to come to a conclusion. A summary that left that out would be five paragraphs. One that put it in would duplicate the chapter by chapter summary.)
Allyson - Jun 06, 2006 11:08:31 am PDT #7030 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
The table of contents on my site is the same chapter summary I used in my proposal, TB.
It's just supposed to be concise and snappy.