Do I strike you as not being independent?

There's not enough HA in the world.

"Coffee on my monitor" fails to measure my laughter when I read this. It was nearly pee my pants.

There's not enough HA in the world.

Heh. But exactly. My pair-bonding is of the raptor/wolf variety: fierce and protective. I couldn't have survived the years with Nicholas Rev.1 if I hadn't had a huge measure of independence; pair-bonding doesn't mean loss of self.

I mean, it can, but not always.

No, I agree. I think that's been my tendency as well. Actually, I might argue true pair-bonding can't mean a loss of self, because both halfs of the pair are needed, to make it what it is, together. It's like notes in a chord.

It's like notes in a chord.

Yes, this. A perfect fifth.

I don't think the majority of humanity is naturally inclined that way, or should be. I just know I am - and it doesn't make me stupid, or weak, or less Deb in any way.

Deb, I was -- BWAHAHA! -- not implying you weren't independent, at all. Just clarifying my own experience; i.e., that you were inclined (or fell into, whatev) pairedness, and I -- didn't. And boy, is it weird having a boyfriend for the first time at 33.

I've seen people have the same attitude toward people who had a reputation for being smart in school and are now teaching (below a college level, but particularly elementary grade teachers). Hello? Don't you think it's a good idea to have smart teachers?

The guy I am dating now LOVES that I am smart...but he has admitted that he's a little intimidated, because he never finished college. I keep telling him that a college degree doesn't mean shit as far as how smart a person is, but he still talks about it occasionally.

Oh, dude. This is The Boy (likes peas), entirely. Well, I think he has his Associate's degree, in something far beyond my ken, like electrical engineering or some such. Which is what I always tell him -- a degree doesn't mean shit compared to what he actually goes out and does with his funky brain.

And, to tie in the Likes Peas factor with this thread topic, last night The Boy let me sit and ramble on and on to him about POV in storytelling, and how tricky third-person can actually be, and then I segued into the Show, Don't Tell axiom (better known as Why Dan Brown Sucks Donkey Butt -- because I use Angels and Demons as my example of truly execrable writing that does nothing but tell tell tell). I stopped in the middle of my Show, Don't Tell tirade and said "Oh, god -- wind me up and I'll talk about writing all night long," and, bless him, The Boy said "I love listening to you talk."

Awwww.

Liking Teppy's boy, more and more.

Erin, nope, I didn't think you'd somehow mixed me up with someone else, and thought I was emotionally dainty and selfless - just commenting, in the order of your original comment.

See, that's so weird, Steph. (Are we dating the same guy?)

He's complained that he's gotted sidetracked for too long from, well, other more physical intentions toward My Fair Body, because he was enjoying talking to me too much.

I'm perverse: it's like the best compliment evah -- "I came over here intending to make crazy monkey love, but two hours later we're still talking! Stop being so interesting!"

Tie-in: he's written a book, and when we started dating, I did some editing for it, and...I don't know. I'm just trying to be slightly on topic.

O the fuck well.

And, k, Deb. Just making sure.

Liking Teppy's boy, more and more.

The example I always use from Angels and Demons is that horrible, horrible scene where Protagonist gets a fax that apparently contains shocking information. And how do we, the readers, know it has shocking information? Why, because the narrative reads as follows: "It was as if he had been hit by a truck."

I gave that example to The Boy, and he asked "What the hell does that *mean*? The guy read the fax and suddenly got flattened like Wile E. Coyote? And had tire marks on his ass?"

He gets it. Awww, yeah.