Allyson, I will read, if you want. Profile is good.
Atherton: Half the men in this room wish you were on their arm, tonight. Inara: Only half. I must be losing my indefinable allure.
'Shindig'
The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Topic!Cindy - Apr 13, 2006 12:50:11 pm PDT #6083 of 10001
What is even happening?
deborah grabien - Apr 13, 2006 1:03:56 pm PDT #6084 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Allyson, read and backsent.
(because I'm FAST! Fast like a FAST READING THING!)
Allyson - Apr 13, 2006 1:17:43 pm PDT #6085 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Excellent excellent feedback, deb. Extraordinarily helpful.
deborah grabien - Apr 13, 2006 1:19:45 pm PDT #6086 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Oh, good. Because that was what hit me straight off, and rather than pick at it and tease it and worry it out, I opted to go straight with what I first saw. Sometimes a cigar, etc.
Heading out momentarily for the evening, but if you need me to look at any touchups or rewrites at all, send and I'll sit down with them as soon as I get home, late tonight. Okay?
Allyson - Apr 13, 2006 1:22:58 pm PDT #6087 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Aw. Grateful, am I.
deborah grabien - Apr 13, 2006 1:27:37 pm PDT #6088 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Grateful, am I.
Damned good, are you. (Is it just me, or do I sound like Yoda...?)
Seriously. This is a pleasure to read and an even bigger pleasure to edit, because you are basically the anti-"yes, BUT..." writer. When you ask for specific input, it's because you want the input. You aren't looking for hairpats, you're looking for stuff to put in service to the book.
And that's what writing's about. So hell, yes, send it on, if I can be useful at all. It's a pleasure working with you, lady.
§ ita § - Apr 13, 2006 2:01:59 pm PDT #6089 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
Will you know me when I come? I worried my mother and questioned my father’s path for me. I broke the laws of the land, and associated with outcasts. I condemned hypocrisy, and forgave hypocrites. I blasphemed and rebelled against the powerful. I fed the poor and passed among them.
I loved, I walked, I taught, I forgave. I put the wellbeing of the many ahead of my own..
Would you know me when I came? With my Middle Eastern features, and arms open to embrace those you have judged unworthy of mercy? Would you call me your saviour then?
Lee - Apr 13, 2006 2:10:43 pm PDT #6090 of 10001
The feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants.
That's wonderful, ita.
Is this a typo:
Would you know me when I came?
§ ita § - Apr 13, 2006 2:13:23 pm PDT #6091 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
Thanks, Perkins.
Is this a typo:
Would you know me when I came?
I don't get it--what's wrong with it?
Lee - Apr 13, 2006 2:27:45 pm PDT #6092 of 10001
The feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants.
Not wrong, just an unusual use of tenses.
I like it, either way.