I just sent the worst thing I've ever written since...hm. Since high school I think, our for beta.
I lost my mojo. If someone finds it, please send it as an attachment to my profile addie? It's creating panic.
Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!
Oz ,'Bring On The Night'
The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Allyson - Apr 04, 2006 10:30:08 am PDT #5906 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
deborah grabien - Apr 04, 2006 10:34:26 am PDT #5907 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Allyson, you have mail. Questions.
Just to let you know, the structure isn't nearly as bad as you think it is - what's off, big-time, is your tone. Off, as in, startlingly different from the rest of the book. But that's not a hard fix, not once you can see where it's wrestling with you.
Asked in email - do you want deep edits, general commentary, or both, or neither?
Allyson - Apr 04, 2006 10:37:36 am PDT #5908 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
I can't see where it's wrestling with me. I'm pinned with my face to the mat.
Sent back!
Ginger - Apr 04, 2006 10:43:37 am PDT #5909 of 10001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
School Lunches
A curl of metal in some overcooked vegetable ended my cafeteria days. That long moment when I held my tray and looked across the cafeteria, hoping against experience that someone would gesture me to a table, was hard enough on my digestion. It was against the rules, but most teachers selectively ignored the few of us who stayed in the classroom with our sandwiches and apples. We talked, we read, and occasionally risked our clandestine status by hanging out the windows, walking on the desks or laughing too loudly. It was the only community where I belonged.
Karl - Apr 04, 2006 11:33:37 am PDT #5910 of 10001
I adore all you motherfuckers so much -- PMM.
Oh, Ginger. That one's very evocative for me.
Nicely done.
erikaj - Apr 04, 2006 11:35:21 am PDT #5911 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
Oh, yeah, wrod.
deborah grabien - Apr 04, 2006 12:45:20 pm PDT #5912 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Allyson, you have feedback and some deep edits.
Allyson - Apr 04, 2006 12:46:59 pm PDT #5913 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
I justfinished reading this second. I think it's worth trashing at this point, I can't write it, and I don't think it's important enough to struggle with like this.
deborah grabien - Apr 04, 2006 1:09:40 pm PDT #5914 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
OK - take a deep breath, step back from it. Smoke a cig or drink a coffee or whatever works, and then ask yourself, nice and simple: what am I trying to bring to life?
Ignore the piece as written, Just breathe in, breathe out, look at the theme - the BNF deal - and ask yourself the question.
What is this piece supposed to illuminate?
Once you have that, you've got the light in the tunnel. And for heavens sake, if you need to scream, ring me up. I listen real good sometimes.
Beverly - Apr 04, 2006 1:14:01 pm PDT #5915 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
She really does, Allyson. I'll send my cell number if you want it, too. But Deb's your woman right now, I think.