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Thanks, luv. And thanks for fixing the Press post, too. MWAH!

So, what? I was the only woman out there with pure horrifying back labour, basically yelling "OUCH MOTHERFUCKER C-SECTION GET THIS DEMON SPAWN THE HELL OUT ALREADY!"?

I can honestly say it never occurred to me to feel like a failure. I was all about the "fuck you I want this damned thing out and dealing on its own now" head space.

For me, it was, "This is something I am SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DO! My body was MADE FOR THIS!" I felt much the same way when I couldn't get pregnant to begin with. Being a mother was the ONE thing I always knew I'd be. And to at first, not be able to achieve it and then, to not achieve it in the way I had planned and planned, broke my heart, at the time.

Yup, Aimee, that's about where I was at, too. Heck, I didn't even get to push. I went in at 2 cm and after 13 hours induced labor was still at 2 cm. The body, she did not want to accomodate at all. Not the baby's fault. Just mine being stubborn.

Now, I have no desire to have a VBAC. Scheduled C-Sections from here on out. Appeals to my anal retentive side.

I am decidedly unnatural. NO maternal leanings.

Did it once, wasn't supposed to be able to do it at all, was sick and in physical pain (traction every morning for the back issue) the entire pregnancy, hated the delivery. Hated the entire process. The kid was cool, but nothing would have induced me to do it twice.

Had I ever had the faintest inclination toward doing it again, I would have been on the phone with the various adoption experts so fast, a superhero on crystal meth wouldn't have been able to catch up.

Both Ben and Sara were VBACs after Jake, and it was kind of neat to do it naturally after a C-section. Kind of neat in a really painful way, of course. I liked being pregnant, too, even with the diabetes. Yet while I always envisioned myself as a total earth mother, nursing did not work out at all, to the point that I didn't even bother trying with Sara.

Nursing didn't work for me with my first one. I'm not sure how much the c-section may have interfered, what with the anesthetic and all. Plus, (cover your eyes, Kalshane) I'm one of those women with really small, flat nipples. The kid just couldn't latch. We tried putting a baby bottle nipple over mine, tried pumping. Could barely get a drop out in 15 minutes. It was a relief to turn to bottles.

I had all good intentions of breastfeeding for a year, but it ended up not working, and the attempt was an ordeal. I'm not sure what I'll do if we have another kid. I know it's best...and yet Annabel is a fine specimen of a child, and I don't feel like enduring another ordeal if I can help it.