Deb, I'm like that, too; I edit as I write. My problem is, I do it too much (I think). I can never get finished because I keep going back to change things as I go. I might actually do better if I "wrote down the bones" first. The only thing I've ever finished is a fanfic (!) and I still find things I would change about it. (I don't change it because once I put it up on my website, I considered it "published," so that I would stop writing it .)

I am editing my first mystery for the third time. I hate it. Not the book, poring over the pages. But I can't have crime fiction with a bad crime. I just can't. But editing is BORING. Episode one boring. Does good things for the pages, though.

Allyson, my non-fiction stuff, book reviews and whatnot? Those I actually go over with a fine-toothed comb.

But with the fiction, no. I'm with you on the beta-readers, the WIP readers, and getting that input. I'd go bonkers without it.

My problem is, I do it too much (I think). I can never get finished because I keep going back to change things as I go.

Ah, got it. No, I don't do that. It's one big benefit of being a linear story-teller, the whole "start at the beginning and go on until you reach the end" thing. I just sent the current version of "Cruel Sister" to the dozen people on my WIP reading list, having just finished Chapter Eight. I've neither looked at the prologue or the first five or six chapters since I incorporated any of the WIP reader suggestions, nor will I, unless something comes up that necessitates inserting something.

But for now, the only edits I'm looking at - and the only chapters I'm looking at - are the two most recent, and the one I'm about to begin.

I understand the feeling of "Wow, this person does what I do so much better", Susan.

As I believe I said in my first post in this thread, my WIP is a re-write/re-imagining of a book I wrote 10 years ago. In the intervening time, someone (whose work I actually enjoy a lot) has published a series of books that contains characters, settings and situations that bear notable similarity to my own. In fact, a friend of mine introduced me to the series by saying "This guy is writing the books you should be writing." So there is a constant worry in my mind about how my own work is going to match up, and if I'm going to percieved as some kind of hack who's trying to copy this other author's work. Especially since the published author's sense of wit and world-building makes me feel like I'm just fumbling about in comparison.

Logically, I should probably just scrap my ideas and try to come up with something different, but this is the story I want to tell right now. These characters have been rattling around in my brain for a decade and I need to get their story out.

Aren't we all? I'm never gonna be Raymond Chandler or Flannery O'Connor(or their unholy demon-spawn) but all I can do is honor them by bringing my best. Pelecanos(who likes carrots) says the writer's obligation is to "do good, honest work" If you're doing that, you're good. Of course, he often acts like writing is like selling shoes or stereos and the other stuff he used to do. Another gig. They asked him why he was such a star in the UK and he said "My dark, swarthy good looks,"

I'm in the camp of "editing as I write, listen to input, incorporate as needed, consider all comments, and never turn in a draft" boat.

I like that boat. If I know something needs fixed in the pages behind me, I cannot go on until it's fixed. It's a rock in my mental shoe that becomes more and more annoying until it gets dealt with.

If I think of something that's going to need massive rewrite--removing a character completely or discovering that the opening chapter can't stay, then I'll make some notes of what needs changed back in those pages and continue on as if I've already made the change. It's a pain to mentally drag along the dead weight, but some things are too big to fix right at the time.

Zenkitty, thing is, not everyone writes that way; I'm in the camp of "editing as I write, listen to input, incorporate as needed, consider all comments, and never turn in a draft" boat.

This is me, too. I edit as I go, usually looking at the previous day's work as I sit down for the day to write, to get back into the right headspace. And once, when it's done, I give it a read-through for repeated words, unclear images, little stuff. But I don't expect to do major rewriting.

Logically, I should probably just scrap my ideas and try to come up with something different, but this is the story I want to tell right now. These characters have been rattling around in my brain for a decade and I need to get their story out.

No matter what happens with it in the end, this is what you should be writing, then. No matter what else, it's polishing your skills and exercising that writing muscle.

If my book sells, I expect the editor to take a hammer to my skull.

Hardly. Having read a few of the essays, there's very little I would do to any of them aside from tightening a few sentences here and there.

Ugh. Still frustrated. I think I've figured out some of the reason my perception of Sebastian is different from my CPs'--long story, and basically involves my subconscious use of him as a symbol for various issues in my background. But I'm so damn frustrated I want to cry, because I'm starting to wonder if my beautiful book that I love so much just completely sucks and is not even remotely salvageable, because it's all so clear in my head, but I just CAN'T explain it or come up with a fix that makes it clear to anyone else!

Argh!

t cries

Apropos of absolutely nothing to do with writing, Billy Idol's playing in Golden Gate Park next weekend, about eight minutes from my house.

You should go see him, deb. For research. You know.

Equally apropos, The Dalai Lama will be visiting Rutgers on Sept 25. I'm debating going. Pro: Probably my only chance ever to see him, even at a distance. Con: It will be in a stadium with 20,000 other people, and I expect any spiritual feeling will be lost in the crowd.