I'm suddenly picturing an appendix to Miss Manners that I never imagined. "Solly, it has come to our attention that you've been claiming status you're not entitled to." "Joey, I swear, I'm Italian through and through." "Your mother's from Minnesota, Solly. As far as I know, lutefisk is not a featured dish at the Sons of Italy."

. But, yes, you do have to be fully Italian and able to trace your roots back.

Tell it to Bugsy Siegel.

Dutch Schultz?

My understanding is that you can be Mafia-connected/a racketeer/ a "mobster" in the general sense, but you do need to be Italian to join the Mafia itself. I've only heard this in connection with Henry Hill -- he couldn't join because his father was Irish.

There used to be a Jewish mob.(And the jokes that Inner!Munchkin is practically forcing me to make about the American Dental Association or the Bar probably would look bad in context, so I won't.) Some of those guys became "associates" probably.

Awww. Ben just came home from school, where he apparently told his new teacher about my book. Which he says she's going to pick up and send home for me to sign.

What a good kid. Shilling mom's books at a tender eight years of age.

Wait'll she sees all the porn.

Plllbbt.

(And don't think I didn't already cringe at that, by the way.)

Tell it to Bugsy Siegel.

He was never a made guy. Neither was Lansky. They were both associates of Luciano, who thought the whole "being made" thing and tracing your roots back to the old country was stupid. Also, this was all before the mafia became, you know, The Mafia.

First round of proposals goes out on Monday to 15 publishers.

Then, we wait. I could go insane.