Allyson, that's fantastic!
Creature Double Feature *might* have been on Saturdays. My expert is in the shower. I will double-check with him when he gets out, just to be sure.
Jimmy Olsen jokes're pretty much gonna be lost on you, huh?
Xander ,'The Killer In Me'
The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Topic!Cindy - Jul 17, 2005 8:04:30 am PDT #3167 of 10001
What is even happening?
deborah grabien - Jul 17, 2005 8:05:59 am PDT #3168 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Allyson, right on target. A couple of suggestions, for readability:
Ms. Beatrice's schoolgirl crush on scripted programming developed into an unhealthy love affair with the cult show Buffy the Vampire Slayer in her mid-twenties.
A slight switch in the ordering, ma'am, please; as it stands, it's Buffy who's in her mid-twenties, not you. Try:
Ms. Beatrice's schoolgirl crush on scripted programming developed, in her mid-twenties, into an unhealthy love affair with the cult show Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
And in a similar vein:
and organizing a failed campaign to save a television show about cowboys in space from being canceled.
I'd tighten it this way:
and organizing a failed campaign to prevent the cancellation of a television show about cowboys in space.
Otherwise? Perfecto, from where I'm sitting. You have excellent instincts.
Allyson - Jul 17, 2005 8:10:01 am PDT #3169 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Oooh, thanks for the editing, Deb. It's amazing how one can screw things like that up when one is writing with her eyes closed.
deborah grabien - Jul 17, 2005 8:12:36 am PDT #3170 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
It's amazing how one can screw things like that up when one is writing with her eyes closed.
BWAH! Seriously, your instinct for this stuff is right on the money; you'll notice the edits are purely cosmetic, and don't touch the heart of what you're saying.
Eyes closed, or not...
Lilty Cash - Jul 17, 2005 8:14:31 am PDT #3171 of 10001
"You see? THAT's what they want. Love, and a bit with a dog."
Allyson! Congratulations!
Allyson - Jul 17, 2005 8:16:05 am PDT #3172 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Tim's advice was:
Allyson Beatrice grew up in blah blah. She didn't always have purple hair. Then talk about how you came out to LA and got invovled with fandom. Tried to save a spaceship while working for mad scientists who do the same thing, but in real life. GET ON IT.
SailAweigh - Jul 17, 2005 8:29:51 am PDT #3173 of 10001
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Heh, good advice, Allyson. Nifty blurb!
Topic!Cindy - Jul 17, 2005 8:37:35 am PDT #3174 of 10001
What is even happening?
Heh. I just remembered to ask Scott about Creature Double Feature. I just went up to him, pointed my finger in his face, and said, "Creature Double Feature! Sunday or..."
A wave of disgust crossed his face.
"SATURDAYS! What kind of amateur question is that. It was Saturdays, and it could have been on at noon, but I think it was 1:00."
deborah grabien - Jul 17, 2005 8:41:58 am PDT #3175 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Allyson, good advice from Tim, but that's more of a full bio - I think what the agent wants is the blurb.
Save the LA sotry for the full one.
Allyson - Jul 17, 2005 8:42:22 am PDT #3176 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Are you serious? Saturday? Really? I was like, seven years old when that was on channel 56. MOTHRA!