ita, sending the entire thing, edited and updated to this point. It's a bit over 100 pages, just about 21K words. Dump any older version - the one I'm sending replaces them.

Music in Shadowland

"Talk to him."

I say nothing. He's been unconcious for a few hours; a mild heart episode, they said, but it happened during dialysis and somehow, some way, he's just decided to shut it all down for a bit. He's not dying - I'd know if he was. But he's not here, either.

"You should talk to him, Deborah. You never know what a person in this state will react to."

I say nothing. I lace my fingers through the long pianist's fingers, and bring my lips to his ear.

"Talk to him."

I begin to hum, his favourite riff.

Deb, that is absolutely beautiful.

It's also absolutely true. Happened the same day I tried to kill a would-be rapist who picked me up hitching to get to the hospital.

Life - weirdly enough - was cleaner and simpler back then.

Allyson, good luck with the biting agent.

Allyson, fingers crossed for you.

Can I get some input, all you nice people?

Minotaur asked me to write my own jacket copy for Matty Groves My brain being rather firmly entrenched in writing Rock and Roll Never Forgets, I've had to dredge a bit.

First draft (they wanted between 300 and 400 words, and this is about 315). Comments, please? If you opened a hardcover book and read this inside the jacket, would you be intrigued? Suggestions for improving? My brain is so very much attached elsewhere right now...

For Ringan Laine, an invitation to perform with his band at the Callowen House Arts Festival is a mixed blessing, especially when he's asked to bring his longtime lover, actor-producer Penny Wintercraft-Hawkes, along as an honoured guest.

The Festival, held every year at Lord Callowen's stately home in Hampshire, is as prestigious as it gets. Artists perform by invitation only, to a handpicked audience. The pay is as impressive as the guest list. And the setting is beautiful: for two weeks, the lucky participants enjoy every luxury that Callowen House, family seat of the Leight-Arnolds, has to offer.

For Ringan and Penny, though, there's a downside: Callowen is haunted, by the pretty young wife of a 17th century Leight-Arnold, killed by her husband when she's caught in bed with another man. What's more, her story is told in a famous traditional song, "Matty Groves". And the couple has already held two terrifying exorcisms for ghosts whose stories, true or false, are told in songs.

This time, it seems, there's no mystery for them to solve; the Lady Susanna's story is straightforward, and besides, Miles Leight-Arnold is very proud of his family phantom.

But from the first night, it becomes clear that Lady Susanna, harmless and tragic, is not alone. Something else is awake, moving through walls and nightmares, growing stronger as it feeds on Penny's sensitivity and on the very fear it creates: Andrew Leight, a man as twisted and violent in life as he is in death. When Penny is attacked and Charlotte, the daughter of the house, is injured, Lord Callowen gives Ringan and Penny an ultimatum: get rid of Andrew Leight, but leave Lady Susanna's ghost untouched.

And as the Festival disintegrates around them, Ringan and Penny begin to understand that the real story of Lady Susanna's death has been deliberately falsified over four hundred years, as part of a political cover-up.

The Festival, held every year at Lord Callowen's stately home in Hampshire, is as prestigious as it gets. Artists perform by invitation only, to a handpicked audience. The pay is as impressive as the guest list. And the setting is beautiful:

It strikes me that the part bout the invitation only and the pay is extraneous. Possibly go straight from "prestigious as it gets" to "And the setting is beautiful."

Lord Callowen gives Ringan and Penny an ultimatum

An ultimatum supposes that Callowen has some sort of power over Ringan and Penny. What if they don't get rid of the ghost? What can he do to them? How about a plea or an anxious request?

This looks good, Deb. I write so much copy, I have to poke a little bit. A few suggestions:

This time, it seems, there's no mystery for them to solve; the Lady Susanna's story is straightforward, and besides, Miles Leight-Arnold is very proud of his family phantom.

I don't think you need "the" before "Lady Susanna's story" here.

And as the Festival disintegrates around them, Ringan and Penny begin to understand that the real story of Lady Susanna's death has been deliberately falsified over four hundred years, as part of a political cover-up.

This could maybe be punched up a little bit. How about:

"And as the Festival disintegrates around them, Ringan and Penny begin to suspect that Lady Susanna's death was not as simple as they've been told, and that the truth may expose a four-hundred-year-old lie with implications far greater than a husband's betrayal..."

I don't think you should give away the "political cover-up" part of the plot, because you want to keep the element of surprise.

As always, just my .02.

Edited because I realized I repeated "straightforward," which you'd already used.

What if they don't get rid of the ghost? What can he do to them? How about a plea or an anxious request?

No. He's got money, pull, position; trust me, this dude is scary and arrogant, and he really doesn't make anxious requests. He knows most of the club owners and most of the money people in the industry and he can seriously impact them. Luckily, by and large, he's not an asshole, but he's autocratic and used to issuing ultimatums.