Oh, this is fun. Deb, your Hemingway is dead on.
And Astarte just made me snort diet Pepsi through my nose.
Here's my first try.
Truest Purest Love
It was a dark and stormy night. Dark because it was night, of course, and because of the storm. The cursed windy, rainy storm!
If only she were here with him! His love, his heart, his soul, his very nostril hairs! Words could not describe even the lovely limpid pools of her eyes. But while the storm blew and rained outside, where it was very dark, he would write an ode to her eyes.
Round, they are, and limpid, too,
As wet as morning’s dampest dew.
Blue and green and bright and true,
And sometimes just a bit brown, too.
Heh. Even "good" Hemingway makes me break out in hives*, so yeeeeesh.
*Well, except for
A Moveable Feast.
Bulwer-Lytton would be so proud, AmyLiz.
Heh.
[link]
Hee, hee. Luckily "my" genre has plenty of sucktastic possibilities.
Why I Like “Cock”
Awestruck she stared at his turgid, swollen member, his proudly outthrust manhood, throbbing with a questing, pulsing rhythm older than time. How could her untried virginal core hold even the tip of so noble a manroot? Unbidden her throat emitted a tiny squeak of terror.
His questing hand sought out the slick, molten moistness of her tight little honeypot. Soon his sword would pierce her final defenses, the last barriers of her sacred innocence, and probe her hidden treasures. Lord Rodney Shaftington, Duke of Ravenscliff, Regency Spy-Soldier-Lord extraordinaire, prepared to storm the citadel of passion.
Manroots and honeypots and citadels, oh my!!!
Oh, Susan just did this so much better...
Oh, Do It Already
Cayenne stared up into the coal dark eyes of Drako. Soon they would be joined as man and woman had since time immemorial. They would begin the dance of love, a rhythm as ancient as the earth, as sacred as the tides, as…
“Calm yourself, my spicy one,” Drako mumbled. “There will be pain—and then there will only be the ecstasy of bliss. Yes, even this first time.”
“Do it, my strong gorgeous hero of a man,” she whispered. She gasped as Drako’s manroot penetrated her love grotto, a dragon in a dark cave. And breathing such sweet fire!
cheering and throwing confetti for Susan and Amy
Bravo! BRAVISSIMO!
