I'm rather of connie's mind on this one, and also agreeing with Robin's suggestion. Add to the tension between them whenever possible, and certainly the "Is he coming back? Bringing reinforcements?" scenario is a tension-adder.
I like the ruffles.
Kaylee ,'Shindig'
The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
deborah grabien - May 04, 2005 3:35:35 pm PDT #1798 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Susan W. - May 04, 2005 3:38:11 pm PDT #1799 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
or you could leave the question open as to where he is and have him show up later.
I don't want to go that route because I want them to be able to relax a bit not too long after this scene, because this is the phase of the story where they first have The Sex, and they're not the type to stop for sex right in the middle of running for their lives. I mean, they're in love, and in lust, but they're not stupid.
Susan W. - May 04, 2005 3:40:28 pm PDT #1800 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
(Annabel's dinnertime. Back later.)
Jesse - May 04, 2005 4:06:18 pm PDT #1801 of 10001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
I'd think if one guy runs off hellbent for leather in one direction, and they go off in another direction, they could find a minute to relax not too long afterward. Especially in a cave, where they're not likely to be seen.
Allyson - May 04, 2005 4:11:37 pm PDT #1802 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
One of the agents I queried wrote and said she'd love to read what I've got, and to send it along.
Prepared for the worst, hopeing for the best, and will take all the luck you can send.
SailAweigh - May 04, 2005 4:12:16 pm PDT #1803 of 10001
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Luck! Allyson.
Susan W. - May 04, 2005 4:12:19 pm PDT #1804 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
Well, they're not actually going to have sex in the cave--that'd be too soon. It is, however, when all vows of "we must obey all the rules and never for a moment forget who and what we are" start to break down.
Allyson - May 04, 2005 4:12:31 pm PDT #1805 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Also, note that I couldn't spell "hoping" correctly. Gah I'm nervous.
Jesse - May 04, 2005 4:12:34 pm PDT #1806 of 10001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
HMOG Allyson, that's great!
Susan W. - May 04, 2005 4:12:38 pm PDT #1807 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
Woohoo! Good luck, Allyson.