Fred: It's the pictures in my mind that are getting me. It's like being stuck in a really bad movie with those Clockwork Orange clampy things on my eyeballs. Wesley: Why imagine? Reality's disturbing enough.

'Shells'


The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...  

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.


Betsy HP - May 03, 2005 10:05:34 am PDT #1733 of 10001
If I only had a brain...

Huh? Pupils generally dilate in response to loss of light, don't they? Or from some other physical stimulus?

Nope. They also dilate from arousal and interest in general. One of the ways they do behavioral experiments on babies is by measuring pupil dilation when showing them different pictures.

Eyes really do grow darker when you're looking at a sexy being; the pupil dilates.


§ ita § - May 03, 2005 10:06:48 am PDT #1734 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Pupils dilate with interest and arousal, and constrict with the loss of same. Sclera reddens with exhaustion or drug abuse. Eye contact is also very communicative. I don't see the grounds for absolute resistance.


deborah grabien - May 03, 2005 10:09:24 am PDT #1735 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

They also dilate from arousal and interest in general. One of the ways they do behavioral experiments on babies is by measuring pupil dilation when showing them different pictures.

Kewl! (memo to self, to tell Ruth if she objects to a "look in the eye" thing) But even there, how would you know what was causing it? I mean as a writer or a reader?

To clarify: Lola is staring at Larry. We, the reader, are told "Lola stared at Larry, love in her eye." How is that happening? How does the author know it's love, if all she has to go on is dilated pupils?

I think that's one of the basics Ruth objects to: assumptions, we're being told not shown.

Eyes really do grow darker when you're looking at a sexy being; the pupil dilates.

On me, the comment has always been that the iris grows lighter, not that the pupil expands. I may be a freak...


Susan W. - May 03, 2005 10:10:20 am PDT #1736 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

I don't see the grounds for absolute resistance.

Me neither. I can see how eye expressions could be a crutch, and lazy writing (I think they're one of my bad habits), but sometimes they're perfectly useful shorthand, and all you need.


§ ita § - May 03, 2005 10:12:03 am PDT #1737 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Just because eyeballs do communicate, it doesn't mean all eye-related expressions are good ones. And it's already very common (see dictionary above and makeup example) to expand "eye" in common usage past the eyeball itself.

edited because it doesn't warrant a numbered list.


deborah grabien - May 03, 2005 10:14:59 am PDT #1738 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

I don't see the grounds for absolute resistance.

Nope, me neither. And Ruth doesn't automatically redline those; she just grits her teeth, mostly, unless the writer overuses.

It does, however, make me more careful about how and when I use those instances. I'll generally synch them up to a secondary thing to reinforce it. There's a thing in Matty, where they're first exposed to the insane glory of Charlotte Leight-Arnold, a woman with no filters and no inhibitions. Jane's met her first, Penny and Ringan pull up, Charlotte comes out and announces that my goodness, you're RINGAN LAINE, I've wanted to shag you for years, truly. And Jane, being dragged along, says something like

"Ringan." Jane's voice held warning and urgency. There was a singular look in her eye. "This is Charlotte Leight-Arnold. She's...rather a fan of yours."

So, reinforcing with voice, Ruth never glanced at it twice.


Nutty - May 03, 2005 10:18:00 am PDT #1739 of 10001
"Mister Spock is on his fanny, sir. Reports heavy damage."

Pupils dilate in response to adrenaline, too. And in response to that eyedrop they have at the optometrist's office, which leaves me looking like a wide-eyed freak for hours and hours afterwards.

It's already very common (see dictionary above and makeup example) to expand "eye" in common usage past the eyeball itself.

It's what, the opposite of synechdoche, where the word for the part describes the whole. I don't know if that formally has a name, but I recognize its being a tool one might want to use (if sparingly).


Steph L. - May 03, 2005 10:43:24 am PDT #1740 of 10001
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

TEP! Can we have a weekly challenge for "really really really shitty fiction" please?

You mean as a drabble topic, or a whole new ongoing weekly challenge?


deborah grabien - May 03, 2005 11:05:10 am PDT #1741 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

I think a drabble topic. It would be nuts-making after a few weeks, but as a one-time - or maybe annual - shot? MASSES of fun.


Anne W. - May 03, 2005 12:43:21 pm PDT #1742 of 10001
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.

The eye thing can bug, but mainly if I see it being used as the main way of showing a character's thoughts, emotions, etc.

Anyhow, here's my shot at the "Home" drabble.

I've only been here twice before, and seeing it now, bereft of its former owner's things, it's even harder for me to imagine myself living here. I knew it would be a big adjustment, but it's finally hitting me just how big.

I let the cat out of his carrier, and he saunters over to the biggest, sunniest windowsill in the place. Within seconds, he's hunkered down, squinting into the sunlight and rumbling out his deep, arhythmic purr.

"You're supposed to be the one who's put out by disruption to routine, you little bastard."

He lifts his chin and blinks lazily.

I'm perfectly at home, he says. What's your problem?