"Learn your cliches. Study them. Know them. They're your friends." -- Crash Davis, Bull Durham

Monday means welcome to my capricious whims in picking the new drabble topic!

Challenge #54 (discovery) is now closed.

Challenge #55 is, as the quote above suggests, cliches. Go to this Web site, pick a cliche (if you go to the bottom of the page, they're even broken down into handy-dandy categories), and....drabble it. In whatever way you choose. If you don't actually use the cliche -- the actual words themselves, like "that's the way the ball bounces" -- in the drabble, maybe add it at the end in parens or something, so we know what cliche you picked.

As always, take on the topic however you like. Feel free to be a smart-ass and drabble a cliche in literal terms -- a basketball falling off the shelf and bouncing through the aisles at Wal-Mart. (That IS the way the ball bounces, dontcha know....) Whatever you like.

[Note: you don't *have* to use the cliche Web site; feel free to use whatever cliche you like. I just thought I'd give a link to a site that lists cliches for people who are like me and suddenly get brain-lock when they *must* recall something. I could rattle off dozens of cliches if I wasn't in a situation where I was required to do so, but as soon as someone asks me for one, I stare at them blankly, like they just asked me for a Swahili translation of Umberto Eco.]

Don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions or tell me if you think I'm a total crackhead.

And along those lines, don't forget that if you have a topic you'd like to see us do, please suggest it! Because I *am* a crackhead and come up with some weird-ass topics sometimes.

Proudflesh

I know it hurts now, but it will get easier.

1976: Really? Interesting idea. I know you're saying that to keep me from taking the high old Roman way out, the bathtub, some morphine and a razor blade, but I'm curious: are you really stupid enough to believe it?

Time heals all wounds.

1994: On what planet? I'm still waiting for that emotional proudflesh to show up. Eighteen years, might as well have been yesterday.

God doesn't give us anything we can't handle.

2005: Go fuck yourself. I'm fifty, and bleeding.

It would appear that, in fact? Time heals nothing.

Deb, you are the fastest on the draw drabbler EVAH. And they never fail to move me. The pain in this one is palpable.

Well, lord knows, this one is fresh from the Hall of Fame presses.

Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

Stupid parking ticket.

Stupid Parking Enforcement guy.

If he would have looked 4 inches to the left, he would have seen the temp registration. Good lord, I just bought the car 2 weeks ago. Not my fault the DMV sucks a giant ass.

Ok, calmer now. Looking for phone number; going to contest this. Piece of shit parking guy.

There’s the number. Press one for English. Press 3 for “Contest a ticket”. Press “O” for an operator.

"We’re sorry – our offices are closed. Please call back tomorrow. Goodbye."

Fuckers

(giggling at Aimee's)

I'm looking for some editing/proofing help. I can't pay a whole lot, but we can talk about what seems fair to both of us. I'd bake you cookies as well, so at least you have something nummy to eat while proofing.

Profile addie is good.

As the twig is bent, so will it grow

Mother glares at me. "I taught you better than this."

Definitions of "better" differ. I stay silent.

She looks at the birth control pills she found in my dresser drawer. "I want you to stop this."

"You'd rather I was pregnant?"

"I didn't teach you to act like this!"

"Taking responsibility for my own actions? Yes, Mother, you did."

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

She would lose it, for no reason at all. The last time was over a pair of pants. Screaming, swearing, cursing, accusing, hitting. She could be the very definition of irrational. “Fucking psycho! You are insane.” I screamed back at her.

And then, I lost it. Searing pain in my head. Hormones running. Medication doing the opposite of what it was supposed to do. I was the very definition of irrational. Screaming, swearing, cursing, accusing. “Insane. You. Are. Insane.” Screaming back at me.

I raised my hand.

And became my mother.

They want us to be like them then are horrified when we are.