It was one of those "Well, what could you do about it, way out there in Utah?" things.

I can't say anything, because I did it to my family. It was too daunting to think about my family's freaking out while I was still freaking out.

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I can't say anything, because I did it to my family. It was too daunting to think about my family's freaking out while I was still freaking out.

That's a little different somehow, because it's your body, and you probably felt the need to control what little you could. At the very least, it is your prerogative. But when the non-patients withhold that information from one sibling, or one parent, but not telling the other, is hurtful, I think.

In 1989 (I should create a macro warning, because whenever I start a story with that year, it's going to have to do with death or its after effects), my mother lost three of her four brothers in 3 and half months--March 13th to July 1. While brother#1 was dying of cancer (he lingered), brother#2 was diagnosed with inoperable cancer. brother#4 died, at work, in the arms of brother#3--of an aortic aneurysm--a month and a day after #1 died. Brother#3 had an aortic aneurysm, 6 weeks later, but did not die, because he new the symptoms and basically ordered the doctors how to treat him. He felt in burst while having an ultrasound and demanded they rush him to O.R. He didn't die, but did contract Hep C from the life saving transfusion, because this was a week before they starting screening blood for Hep C. Brother#2 died a month after that. Brother#3's wife did die a few months later, also of cancer.

Anyhow, during one of these lovely moments, my mother and aunt (who had a breakdown right before brother#3's death) decided not to inform my grandmother. I think it was about brother#2's cancer. I was 22. I had to sit them down, and explain that they needed to tell Nana, because it just wasn't right, and how would she deal with it, if his cancer was fatal. They finally did--maybe after the biopsy confirmation. She chastised them a little for not telling her right away. They said, "But mum, you've had so much, and what could you do." When she answered, "I could pray," I think they got the point.

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No, I didn't.

Must've been the part where I was reading your mind. Or actually, I was referring to your notice that you would be working on the board getting it ready for the search feature. Which in my mind (and perhaps in no others), constituted the kind of notice that would let Nora know she wasn't getting her leg pulled about the recent (welcome!) addition to the features.

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So what I wanted to say last night right when the board started hanging on me, was:

Hec, I may have misspoken (what the hell constitutes a compilation anyway?) -- I meant one of the Hec Special Tapes. Not Blackwater Slide... maybe In the Pines?

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Aye, caramba Cindy. That's a special record for 1989 awfulness. Your poor family.

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wrod. Our 2001 was like that, though.

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Not Blackwater Side... maybe In the Pines?

IN THE PINES
A-SIDE: Women of Ireland - Laurie Lewis; Wayfaring Stranger - Emmylou Harris; Bargain Store - Dolly Parton; Blue Moon - Elvis Presley; Ain't No Ash Will Burn - Ranch Romance; Let the Mystery Be - Iris Dement; Every Time You Say Goodbye - Alison Krauss; Love Vigilantes - Oyster Band; I Don't Want to Spoil the Party - Rosanne Cash; Lullaby of London - June Tabor & The Oyster Band; Dirty Old Town - Pogues; When Will I Be Loved - Sandy Denny & Linda Thompson; Highway Kind - Townes Van Zandt; Hickory Wind - Emmylou Harris; Dallas - Flatlanders; Amazing Grace - Ron Wood

B-SIDE: On My Way to Kolozsvar Town - Marta Sebestyn; Streets of Sorrow - Pogues; Meet on the Ledge - Fairport Convention; Mo Ghile Mear - Mary Black; Snow Don't Fall - Townes Van Zandt; Whispering Pines - The Band; Brass Buttons - Gram Parsons; Shaking Hands (Soldier's Joy) - Michelle Shocked; The Light - Laurie Lewis; When the Circus Comes To Town - Los Lobos; Dark Skies - Alison Krauss; Finisterre - June Tabor & Oyster Band; Never Again - Richard & Linda Thompson; Drivin' on 9 - Ed's Redeeming Qualities; Black Eyed Dog - Nick Drake

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Yeah, 2002 was when my dad died and my cousin was diagnosed with breast cancer on the same day. Not a good February, but doesn't compare with your 1989.

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Ooh, Hec, want. I'm sure I have a birthday coming up sometime in the next year or so.

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That's true, in my Annis Horribilis, nobody actually died. Everything else happened though, and I do believe there is a part of my heart that won't be the same, but still not death.

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