As the doctor told my mom when she tried to get my dad to quit smoking after his heart attack--"The more you mention it, the more you make it a problem he has with YOU, rather than his problem which he has to figure out for himself."

Some recent Buffista events I've caught up on in Bitches:

Welcome to the world Mallory James!!!

Deena, congrats on moving forward with the house buying plans.

Aimee's hair looks smashing!

Lots of house selling and peace of mind ~ma to Anne.

Robin is very, very wise.

As ever.

Robin, we never ever speak of it. I've learned there's no point. It's just hard watching him slowly kill himself and not being able to do a thing about it.

Welcome to the club -- I call it Daughters Whose Heart-Patient Fathers Are Stubborn About Their Diet.

Can I join this club?

Yes, but you need to come up with a better name.

Yes, but you need to come up with a better name.

How about...DADD: "Dads in Denial about Diet"? In my case, it could be DADDS (Dads in Denial about Diet and Smoking).

I eventually got used to the idea that Mom hasn't quit smoking and probably won't, even though she had to deal with watching from another state as her father slowly died of emphasema and then lung cancer.

I can get used to Dad not taking care of himself and going the way of his father (1 heart attack, bypass surgery, and colon cancer).

My dad used to smoke but quit in his 40's. He's always been physically active. His diet? Meh.

Then, after his heart attack scare and quadruple bypass (around 60), my mom put her foot down and he eats much better.

Now, he's 67 and in the past year has had two major strokes. Makes me wonder if his eating habits/smoking when he was younger just sealed it for him.

I had an awful dream last night that he died. It was horrible.

Since he's divorced and mostly on his own (and his current SO smokes, too), no one polices him. Crazy-making.

My dad is hypochondriac! The only illnesses he denies are emotional. In addition to not living to ensure he Doesn't Die. He wanted to touch my mother's lump so he would know what cancer felt like.