I eventually got used to the idea that Mom hasn't quit smoking and probably won't, even though she had to deal with watching from another state as her father slowly died of emphasema and then lung cancer.

I can get used to Dad not taking care of himself and going the way of his father (1 heart attack, bypass surgery, and colon cancer).

My dad used to smoke but quit in his 40's. He's always been physically active. His diet? Meh.

Then, after his heart attack scare and quadruple bypass (around 60), my mom put her foot down and he eats much better.

Now, he's 67 and in the past year has had two major strokes. Makes me wonder if his eating habits/smoking when he was younger just sealed it for him.

I had an awful dream last night that he died. It was horrible.

Since he's divorced and mostly on his own (and his current SO smokes, too), no one polices him. Crazy-making.

My dad is hypochondriac! The only illnesses he denies are emotional. In addition to not living to ensure he Doesn't Die. He wanted to touch my mother's lump so he would know what cancer felt like.

My dad asked for a cigarette on THE STRETCHER on his way in to the hospital for his first heart attack. He did well at keeping slim for the last 7 years of his life, after the second heart attack, but he never liked vegetables, and I swear he didn't eat a single one during that time.

I tried not to get on his back about it because it was useless and also because I know I would HATE it if people pointed out all the unhealthy ways I eat and drink to me all the time.

Yes, but you need to come up with a better name.

How about...DADD: "Dads in Denial about Diet"? In my case, it could be DADDS (Dads in Denial about Diet and Smoking).

Perfect!

My dad can still eat red meat and fast food in moderation. (I don't understand it, but apparently it's okay with his doctor, and my mom's a nurse, so I trust them on this.) But apparently salt is Really Bad for him. Therefore, my parents' house is The Place That Salt Forgot -- I'm always tempted to bring my own when I visit them.

My dad asked for a cigarette on THE STRETCHER on his way in to the hospital for his first heart attack.

While my aunt was in the cardiac ICU recovering from bypass (or maybe angioplasty), she had someone sneak a smokeless ashtray in so she could smoke. In the ICU. With all the oxygen tubes and so forth.

Oh, well, I've got the hat trick. DADDDDS - Dads in Denial about Diet, Drinking, and Smoking.

As the doctor told my mom when she tried to get my dad to quit smoking after his heart attack--"The more you mention it, the more you make it a problem he has with YOU, rather than his problem which he has to figure out for himself."

This is incredibly true.

He's actually been doing a lot better on the smoking and drinking front since his knee surgery, far better than I would ever have imagined. But now he's starting to get mobile again, which means it may not last. He's got this girlfriend who is the worst fucking influence - all they do in hang in a bar and smoke and drink and eat crap. Oh, and watch Wheel of Fortune. I hate the fact that I have every expectation that he'll be back to his old waste-of-space ways in short order.

I can get used to Dad not taking care of himself and going the way of his father (1 heart attack, bypass surgery, and colon cancer).

What's scary to me about my dad is that he has always more or less taken care of himself -- never overweight, quit smoking at 30, pretty physically active, drinks in moderation. But his father died of a stroke at 53, as did several other relatives. And my dad had his first heart attack and got an automatic defibrilator at 42.

Dad is almost 55 now, so I'm hoping he broke the family curse.