I'm too "real" and too "American".

Those both strike me as good things to be. I just think that it's great that you auditioned.

One of the things I recognised when I was being overcome by homesickness when I ventured out to California was how much exhaustion played in releasing the feelings.

I mean the homesickness was still there, but catching up on sleep helped me a lot.

Anyone want to help me make this PowerPoint presentation?

I just finished mine, Alex. I'd be glad to help you with yours, if you really want help.

Aims, wow, "too real". I kinda like that. The realest invisible friend I have.

Daniel, yeah, every time I get really tired I start whining for Florida. It's easy to get depressed when I'm low on sleep.

"Too Real? WTF? (although people have told me that too) You don't get homesick living in the same dumb city you never fit in in the first place...other than that I'd not recommend it.

I think having a new baby exacerbates the homesickness, too. At least for normal people.

I on the other hand, never claimed to be normal, and having grown up with a pathologically manipulative and controlling maternal parent, plus being an inexperienced and timid person anyway, was exceptionally glad to be having my kids an entire ocean away. I did have a small but sturdy support system in place, and I didn't have to second-guess myself constantly, dealing with my mom's ridicule and dismissal of my parenting methods.

Not that anyone else's family is as warped as mine. But I really was glad--and remain so--that my first few years as a parent were away from my family. She still pushed my buttons and made me doubt myself later on, but at least I had a foundation of "Hey, I managed fine on my own" to combat her criticism.

And by the time the inlaws got involved I was pretty able to stand on my own two feet and ignore autocratic attempts to countermand my parenting decisions.

Geegosh, I'm just a fountain of unsolicited advice today. Really going to make beds now.

I guess I can see the point. She is very pious and very innocent. And at the end of the play, the hired killer realizes that she was too good to be on this earth and that's why she was at peace with dying.

I'm not pious and Lord knows I'm about as far from innocent as can be. And oddly, it's not the first time I've been told this in an audition. I didn't get Audrey in Little Shop because I "looked" too street smart.

However, in checking the notices today, I didn't see anyone calling for a potty-mouthed, wise cracking, pain in the ass with a nice smile.

And yes, exhaustion + new baby has definitely upped the homesickness factor, for me.

Except for the weird Baltimore thing...but that's like wanting to be in Sunny D, yeah? But not exactly... Maupin San Francisco...hometown maybe a state of mind. Like Margaritaville.ETA: There are totally parts like that Aimee. Hang in there. All MY women are always like that.

I didn't see anyone calling for a potty-mouthed, wise cracking, pain in the ass with a nice smile.

I think Emma's too young anyway.

Teacup boyfriend and I had dinner with my friends last night. I think it went well, and the friend that I was worried about was on her best behavior, which isn't saying much lately, but it was better than her worst behavior. I finally had a friend take a picture of us together, so as soon as I can finish that roll of film, I will post the pictures. I hate to catch up and run, but I am so very late for where I am supposed to be.

{{{Aimee}}} I am sorry about the homesickness and that you didn't get the part.

vw, have fun in New York. I want to hear all about Wicked when you get back.

{{{Nora}}} Deciding to go back into therapy is a difficult decision; I have found that when those close to you start suggesting it, it is probably a good time to seriously start looking into it again.

FWIW, I so hear you. Therapy hurts. I know, I know, it ultimately helps, too...but it is so damn hard and forces you to confront things that you don't really want to confront. ("Can't I just keep hitting snooze? I'm not ready to get up yet.")

I have btdt, but I am so happy that I have finally found a really good therapist. Even if the sessions are becoming increasingly painful, but I have actually gotten to the point where I really want to deal with some of this stuff. It took me quite a while to get to that point.

It's nice to see when the press recognizes a Buffista for her/his brilliance, yet comforting to realize that no one in the media has connected the dots and figured out our world-domination plan.

Wrod!