Yes, I have explained the fire hazard issue, which, to be fair, she didn't know, because it's never come up. The lamp is almost three foot tall, and it's on top of an end table. It must have taken some forbidden gymnastics to get it up there, in the first place.

And there are crowds where I don't say that, because some people hear child abuse in it. Nah...just like Lois on TV. Mom loves Lois.)

That's not child abuse. That's a kindness. "You need to leave me alone, now." I don't over use it, but I use it when necessary. It's better than screaming at them, especially when my rational self is already telling me, "It's just a *thing* and nobody was hurt. Get over it, Cindy," and it's just that the irrational bits need a breather, first.

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I asked Chris what happened, and he went into this long story that started with whatever he was watching on TV. I said, "Never mind," and came in here and typed, so I wouldn't scream. Ben was still proclaiming his innocence for all to hear. Julia was still asserting she had the complete eye witness testimony.

They were all racing as fast as they could to NOT be the culpable one, or at least, NOT be the one Mommy was angry at. None of them were able to sense that their actions were universally producing EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF THEIR INTENDED EFFECTS.

This is, of course, perfectly kid-like behavior.

(Upon typing this, I see it could read as a leaping to the defense of, and I'd like to clarify it is only meant as a somewhat bemused commentary on)

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Oh no, you're completely right, and it was hysterical in the sense that it's funny now. I actually couldn't figure out why they were quite so defensive about it, because in general, I'm pretty easy about broken stuff. We have kids. Stuff gets broken. I'm generally fine with that, as long as the kids weren't broken, and weren't being intentionally bad.

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Message By Proxy:

Hey, Connie, if you're reading this and you've skived off to the library or something for some mental health time, call your hubby, will you? He just called here.

Love, AmyParker

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Oh no, you're completely right, and it was hysterical in the sense that it's funny now.

I think the part that struck me the funniest was just how quickly Julia was willing to totally sell her brother down the river. And how oblivious she was to her own culpability, and her impending self-bust.

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Hey, Connie, if you're reading this and you've skived off to the library or something for some mental health time, call your hubby, will you? He just called here.

Love, AmyParker

All right! So I sneaked out of work rather than causing stink and grief by murdering perfectly blameless people just because my hormones said to! I didn't know he was going to come looking for me after his doctor's appointment. Now it's a nationwide alert.

For what it's worth, I just got here about twenty minutes ago, and he found me here. Even before I got online.

Damn, when did I become predictable.

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I think the part that struck me the funniest was just how quickly Julia was willing to totally sell her brother down the river. And how oblivious she was to her own culpability, and her impending self-bust.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Julia is afraid of werewolves. Long story. Anyhow, she doesn't want to go upstairs if nobody else is up there. Ever. However, she will take Chris with her and go up, even though he's smaller than she. One day, I said, "You're bigger than Chris is, Julia. There's no such thing as werewolves, but if there were, Chris couldn't protect you. What are you planning to do--throw him to the werewolf, so that you can escape."

Of course she was.

...

Poor Connie, can't even sneak off to the library.

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To: Connie

Fr: Amelia

I knew it was impending homicide, for crying out loud: I am so sick that I cancelled dinner with Daysha to stay in bed, I was called out of bed, therefore I was committed to staying out of bed until I found out. If I could reach through the screen I'd punch you in the snoot for yelling at me. So there.

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I wasn't yelling at her! I was yelling at the fates! I know she's sick and icky and I wouldn't yell at her anyway, and I'm gonna go eat worms.

Worms, not words. Words are tasty.

And you'd best not be giggling, Empress.

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blink blink blink

... y'know how sometimes, when you're looking for distraction, you google the names of old friends?

I just found my childhood best friend. I am currently staring at the website and trying to decide if I want to email him. This is very, very odd.

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