In other words, all boys wants to be gay and it's up to you to make sure Bobby grows up straight.

This seems to be the position of a fair subset of columnists -- everybody would OBVIOUSLY be gay if they had a choice in the matter, so it's your job to impose heterosexuality on a reluctant substrate.

Cause girls? Both icky and confusing.

all boys want to be gay

Doesn't shrift subscribe to this theory?

growing up straight isn’t something that happens

Our poor ancestors. For thousands of generations they had het sex, against their will, just to produce us. What sacrifice.

“The truth is, Dad is more important than Mom. Mothers make boys. Fathers make men.

WTFEXCUSETHEHELLOUTTA ME??

For something totally different, I'm working on an architectural library. This title strikes me as a good title for a manga or something:

Precast Concrete High School

WTFEXCUSETHEHELLOUTTA ME??

Apparently all men raised by single mothers are gay.

“The truth is, Dad is more important than Mom. Mothers make boys. Fathers make men.

Hmm. I wonder what they make them out of if there's no mom in the picture. Probably not gingerbread, though I could really go for a cookie right now.

Apparently all men raised by single mothers are gay.

Ooopsie. When my single father who raised my gay brother and my single mother who raised my straight brother find out about this, boy, will their faces be red. Psychosocial parenting faux pas!

Oh lordie...I finally clicked to the front page, and it looks like the World Weekly News over there! Headlines like "Roman Catholic "Celibate" Priesthood is Full of Whoremongers!" and "Enter the Antichrist Slideshow!"

I am cracking up.

This seems to be the position of a fair subset of columnists -- everybody would OBVIOUSLY be gay if they had a choice in the matter, so it's your job to impose heterosexuality on a reluctant substrate.

That theory tends to come from deeeeep within closets, imho.