Coffee is god.

I was awakened by a phone call this morning about half an hour before my alarm was supposed to go off. I hate being woken up by the phone. It always gives me this adrenaline rush that takes a long time to go away. I looked at caller ID, but the number was blocked. Often my early morning calls are business calls from someone who thinks he'll get voicemail. I keep telling myself not to answer these, because they never go well. Still, I answered and discovered that I was apparently the victim of butt dialing. It was someone in a car with the radio on. After a few futile hello's, I listened to see if I could figure out who it was. The radio station was a D.C. station, giving traffic reports. I have no clue.

Argh, Ginger. What a way to wake up.

I woke up inexplicably at 6:45 to find that Greg had overslept not set his alarm. I never have trouble sleeping through it, but I guess not sleeping through it messed with my head. I was going to go back to bed, but needed a cup of coffee first. By the time the cup was half gone the babies were up. At least I got Greg off to work on time, with breakfast in his tummy and a good lunch in his bag.

Screaming? nsm.

Well, it'll probably be there. Hell, I scream, and I'm quite demure. If they're good teachers and you stay balanced, there's no reason to go at your own pace. But they will encourage you to push yourself.

It's not tai chi -- it's not about balance. It's about letting the aggression rip right through you, and fighting the fight of your life.

If you don't want to do that, don't go. If you look at it as a peaceful mental art, or just a way to get fit, it could be stressful.

If you want to throw yourself at physical challenges and see what sticks, it's a lot of fun.

So, yeah, there's screaming. I haven't seen a quiet way to get people fierce yet.

Ugh, what a frustrating way to wake up, Ginger. It wasn't me, I haven't heard any DC traffic reports today.

Timelies.

I just got almost everything else I need to make my Roman Shades. I'm so excited! I can't wait till therapy is done so I can start working on them. Yay!

Roman shades look hard. Are you using those tapes with the little rings on them?

I am waiting for people to call me back. Didn't Dante write about this level of purgatory?

I am waiting for people to call me back. Didn't Dante write about this level of purgatory?

Yes. It's right above the leg warmer level.

So, yeah, there's screaming. I haven't seen a quiet way to get people fierce yet.

I'm surprising myself with the timiditude. I don't generally see myself that way. In my imagination, I'm an asskicker from way back. And the various times I've actually had to defend myself, I was not shy.

Plus, as a long-distance cyclist, I was the surliest dog on the trail...doing plenty of yelling myself. ("Ya like life buddy? Then stay off the fucking trail!"...a personal favorite.)

Yesterday, for some reason, the idea of someone doing a drill sergeant number was just not appealing. I won't, however, let that get in the way of a lifelong dream to do fight training.

In the moment, it strikes me that I'm afraid I may not be half as tough as I like to think I am. I guess krav will tell.

Put up or shut up moments...and there have been more than a few in my life...tend to inspire some ambivalance right before I take the plunge...it'll pass.

I'm afraid my automatic reaction to someone yelling at me to do something is to defy them. I don't do the yelling thing.

The screaming part was my favorite. It got a lot of my cramped feelings out.