Much ~ma, vw. You're a good friend to help her out like this. I hope your presence helps keep everyone calm.

vw, you're a good friend to do this, but please take care of yourself. Don't try to get between them. Also--do you have a cell phone?

Don't try to get between them.

I'm not going to. I wasn't worried about this till *after* I agreed to do it. Of course, there were some developments yesterday that make us both suspect he's going to be less than friendly, so that has changed things a bit. So, I called and talked to my therapist about it last night, and we made a plan.

When J calls me this morning to make arrangments to meet, I'm going to tell her that I think that we need to have a plan in case things get out of hand. If they do, I think for both of our sakes, we need to just leave and then make other arrangments to get the stuff. It won't be good for either one of us to stay if there is some kind of confrontation.

Also--do you have a cell phone?

Yes. And I have no trouble using it to dial 911. I'll also be letting her know that.

Okay, that all sounds supremely sensible and I'll pretend I'm not try to stop worrying.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make anyone worry. To try to calm those worries a little more...he is not physically abusive...his abuse is entirely verbal and manipulation type (which is sometimes just as bad or maybe worse, but at least we're not in physical danger). Also, when I've been at the house before because J was not comfortable being alone, her husband has been very nice and neutral. Hopefully when he sees me that's how he'll be this time.

Good plan, vw. i hope everything goes smoothly and your friend gets her stuff and the husband is all mild-mannered we-have-company guy.

more ~ma for connie and her dh. Calm and easy ~ma for vw and her friend.

{{Maria}} what a mess. You definitely deserve a break or two.

Timelies. I slept 8 hours last night!

vw, you are such a good friend. I've been in kind of the same situation except I stayed with my friend while her (also verbally/mentally) abusive came to move stuff out of her house. He had been completely normal-seeming around me before that day but he turned on me quickly when he saw me there obviously being on her side and acting as a barrier between the two of them. I was so so glad for all the self-defense training I had done which involved scenarios where the attacker was verbally abusive. I was able to block what he was saying to me and also coach my friend through the experience (mostly by telling her over and over "you don't have to respond to him").

It was a god-awful day but we got him out of there without the situation escalating to a physical level (although, honestly, I would have loved to beat the crap out of the little shit).

One of the things he kept trying to do that day was drive a wedge between my friend and I. He did this by saying that after she came back from my Save Serenity party, she had talked about how geeky I was for liking Firefly and Buffy etc. Hilarious! I was like, "Dude, that's the best insult you can come up with? Trying to make me feel ashamed about the TV shows I like?"

Anyway, strength to you and your friend vw. I'm so glad for her that she's getting out of the situation and has such good support for doing it.

sending ou tht ecalm ma~~ to vw and her friend J. may J find it easy to be strong today.

vw, you are an excelllent friend. I hope all goes peacefully for you and your firend today.

There's few things squickier than disembodied tongue prostheses.

I can think of one: tongue transplants. I'm sure it's a good thing for the people who need it, but reading about it grossed me out.