friends != pimps, as sad as I am to say.

I am a good friend, for I tell it like it is and don;t feed you a bunch of candy coated crap.

Listen! You may have to deal with a stalker or two to get someone. Aren't you willing to make any sacrifices? Do you expect insta-results in krav? huh? DO YOU!?! You have to treat this like training and it may hurt a little at times.

I have seen puppy training classes that are run like this. It never works.

What if they're allowed to offer us treats?

Treats! Treats!

On the eyeliner question: I apply liquid liner after eyeshadow, and have done so for YEARS. Which probably explains why I can't figure out how to do that 'smokey eye' smudged eye makeup look without it ending as Jilli the Happy Panda.

There are plenty of bossy and ineffective people.

Yep, and I just got out of a meeting with one of them.

I am no longer hmmphing, but am also completely normal sized.

Jilli works for PointyHaired Boss!

That's a GREAT haircut for your face, Teppy.

You may have to deal with a stalker or two to get someone.

Five times bitten, ten times shy.

Aren't you willing to make any sacrifices?

You want to excise my still beating heart, go ahead. You want strange men to follow me home, I gotta look at you funny.

Do you expect insta-results in krav? huh? DO YOU!?!

Of course.

You have to treat this like training and it may hurt a little at times.

So while my chiro was working me, he said "How come you hate something as good for you as adjustments, but love something as potentially bad for you as fighting?" (He's a kickboxer, he can ask these questions. Plus he's pretty.) "It's the control, isn't it?"

It certainly may perhaps be something sort of like that. Or not.

Jilli works for PointyHaired Boss!

Thankfully, he's not *my* boss. If he were my boss, I would not be quite so pleased about this job.

Teppy, that is a very nice haircut for you. Not cute (because I know you hate that word being applied to you), but very sassy. It makes me want to put black mascara and red lipstick on you, then go out carousing.

It certainly may perhaps be something sort of like that. Or not.

Would it just be simpler if I started kidnapping attractive young men I see in the clubs and Fed-Ex them to you? There's one who attends the same goth night I do who could be Orlando Bloom's twin.

A message regarding msbelle.

ok - so clearly you are drawn to stalkers. So try this - make eye contact with the guys you would normally NOT choose to make eye contact with (eliminating all obviously crazies).

I do not want strange men to follow you home. I do not want anyone to follow you home unless invited.

As I cannot actually set you up with peopel I know, this is the best I can do. Also? you may need to consider krav men and/or work men.