I think it's a Yankee thing, beth. I am not shocked by other people telling their financial details, but my brain won't read and keep it.

The thing is, stores and restaurants totally use the "don't talk about money" reflex to our disadvantage.

The spoken specials of the day which never, ever come with a price. The haircutter who asks "Would you like me to blow it out?", not telling you what that costs. The spa that doesn't even list its prices on the same page as the treatments.

All of them are playing on your reluctance to ask the embarrassing questions in public.

Yeah, that's what I thought, too. But he can be weird like that. Only thing I could think was that earlier I had inadvertantly given more information, and, being a mathy type, he computed the two to the point where his brain buzzer went off saying "Warning! You are close to vaguely knowing what she makes! Danger! Danger!"

When we only discussed rents it seemed to sort out along lines of New York/LA high, flyover states low. The salaries are much more variable.

Depends, though. I pay $800 for 400 square feet, which I often think is robbery. I just think that should be a one bedroom, and not a box.

The thing is, stores and restaurants totally use the "don't talk about money" reflex to our disadvantage.

"If you have to ask what it costs, then you can't afford it."

That's just low.

I think it's a Yankee thing, beth. I am not shocked by other people telling their financial details, but my brain won't read and keep it.

yankee here too. and I only really noticed the stuff I could relate too.

but I am trying to overcome some of my ideas about money becausse - face it, money matters. I think by talking - at least in a vague way about money, it loses power. and i have gotten some useful advice, just by talking in a vague way. and like Betsy said - not makeing it easy to find a price is one of the way money is made more powerful.

Are you a Yankee as in a Northerner or a Yankee as in a New Englander?

yankee new englander

born in maine - most of my life in CT. Now in CA, which while easier in many ways ( socially), I have to draw lines that I never had to drawn while living in CT.

Yeah, that's true, Betsy. It factors in a lot of things, where we pay high dollar to avoid the embarassment factor.

Oh, and also, since I write our paychecks, I do see the employee/employer taxes going to SS, and I consider it my civic duty to complain aloud every time. It's a lot of cash. OTOH, we paid pennies in federal tax, thus the large payment this year, but this is good because it means that we, not the federal goverment had interest-making rights to that jack.

What else? Oh, flyover states. Yeah, when we were making our top salary, we were also living in a one-bedroom loft apartment uptown, paying $485 for the privilege (including $50 for the month-to-month). Our living expenses in Wichita were ridiculously low, and I came to realize that I'd never ever have that disparity so far in my favor again, and anywhere I moved, I'd be making less and paying more.

That was when we paid off the debts, all but one last school bill of the SO's that we should finish next month.

What's a month-to-month?