"It is--I don't want to impugn the parents' motives here, and I am sure some of them feel that way. I still think it behooves them to be careful. I don't know if MJ is guilty, but my gut tells me he is because the prallells to the other pedophile I knew are so close. In his case, he got 13-year-olds to come hang out at his house because it was so much fun for them. He had a projection TV and 8 million videos and guitars and amps and a killer sound system they could all play with and they all really loved hanging out with him. He was the most beloved teacher in the school. But he had all that stuff to draw them in and keep them there so he could insinuate himself into their lives." (emphasis added)

Remember, this is just my gut feeling, and like any gut feeling it could be completely wrong.

Gut instincts aside...

A completely innocent person could do all those things, right up to the itallics, for completely innocent reasons. That's the problem with saying "this is sick behavior."

A completely innocent person can send out bad vibes.

It is still smarter to trust your vibes than it is to override them.

Is that "in love" the same way she'd be in love with an actual boyfriend or husband? Or is it the complete stranger version of same?

I think that, if she ran into Tom Brady (in his street clothes) in a dark alley at 2am, she would be far less likely to be paranoid about him than about any non-famous young white man she might encounter in the same situation. Logically, she knows that she doesn't actually know him at all, but in that weird celebrity-attraction way she sort of acts as if she does.

I don't think it is normal behavior for an adult to want to hang out socially alone with children or teenagers on a daily basis.

I don't care about innocent exceptions. I will be wary and looking askance and be staying far away with any future children I have.

It is still smarter to trust your vibes than it is to override them.

Especially with your kids. If you want to put *yourself* in potential harm's way, then so be it. You are the boss of you, and can decide that. But with children, I would always ALWAYS err on the side of caution. I would rather offend someone by not letting my kid sleep over with them -- even if that person is completely innocuous -- than run the risk of my child being hurt.

Hmmm. I'm certainly very cautious with Emmett, but there are any number of adults I'd trust him to spend time with alone.

Honestly, I understand the wariness and would be very conscious about any circumstances where Emmett would be alone with another adult - and yet, I really dislike the paranoia about the subject as well. I don't think it's healthy, or necessarily valid and I think it lead to the child molestation hysteria of the 80s and 90s.

What Teppy said.

I love kids and I love hanging out with them, but any adult who would rather hang out with 13-year-olds than other adults is damaged. Maybe not in a way which is overtly harmful to the kid, but harmful nonetheless. Kids socializing with an adult who fears or distrusts the very nature of adulthood itself is a bad role model. We want our kids to WANT to grow up, not to despise it as a fall from innocence.

Am I the only person who wouldn't want my child to think of Michael Jackson as an appropriate adult role model, even assuming he's not a molester??

Edit: There, see? Like Scrappy Said.

but any adult who would rather hang out with 13-year-olds than other adults is damaged.

Wow, I really don't believe that's inherently true. I love Emmett's godsisters, and I was just emailing the elder (16) yesterday. She's a cool and interesting person. Is everybody who coaches teenagers suspect?

eta: okay I skimmed over the "rather than other adults" part. But while I truly understand the caution, I think there's too much freakin' paranoia on the issue as well. There's nothing healthy about Maude Flanders' battle cry of "But what about the children?" either.

David, you clearly prefer adults to children for most of your social interaction. That does not mean you don't love kids and hanging out with them.