Vince (and Cuddy) were getting out of the shower when Eric called.
"I suppose I should take this," he told her, while she recovered her beloved Palm from where she had flung it in an excess of passion the night before...there was no way she could work while he was around, that much was clear. Luckily, though, the machine was none the worse for wear, though the email had begun to pile up.
"You're welcome."Eric said, some testiness mixed with the affection.
"For what?"
"Jesus, Vince, what's it like on your planet? People just laying down their lives for you, and when you think about it, you brush some hair out of your face and say ' Gee, thanks,"
"Oh, you know I'd be lost without you, E."
"It's not true, but a guy does love to hear it, Vince."
"I know you always have my back."
"You're like my brother..of course I'll do it. I just like to hear that what I do matters."
"Ok, so what am I thanking you for now?"
"I lied my ass off to Ari. Your personal life is none of his fucking business."
"Cool. Thanks."
But Eric didn't lie fast enough.During his weekly vanity Google, instituted during a momentary funk over Head-On's poor reviews, Vince found many a breathless blogger linking to a dark and grainy photo of them having dinner...the photo itself was not very revealing, but he had to wince at the headline: Vincent Chase and Mystery Cougar at Jersry Eatery, from a site called "Chasesucks.com" Some fangirls had evidently been pointed by search engine and they were passionate in their defense of Vince, but it was hardly the ego boost he was expecting, wading through tons of "Vince is SO Hott...why did he pick somebody so old?" and delusional girls listing when they would be legal and/or how big their age differences were with him. It was like throwing open a strange girl'sbedroom door, and although he knew it was good for business for them to be talking of him this way, he couldn't shake the feeling of tiny little hands, nails painted in glitter polish, reaching out for him behind the screen. He was momentarily wigged. Also, God help them all if Turtle found this shit.
"I've got to get off some of these message boards," Cuddy remarked. "I don't have time to follow them all, and somehow an ethics flamewar isn't where I'm getting my excitement from nowadays." She smiled at him fondly. "Is E. okay?"
"Um, yeah, Great." Vince wanted to log off before she could see the page.
"Oh, go on," she teased. "You don't have to be embarrassed...did that Russian tennis player get another photo spread? I know she's hot and you don't owe me anything. Although I do have to accept that you save your sweet nothings for Eric."
"No, it's not like that," he protested.
Lisa looked at Vince's screen, and snorted.
"Ok, it sort of is."
"I am NOT a cougar, Vince. Cougars have smoky voices and go around in their daughter's leather pants that are two sizes too small while they prowl around the parking lot of the community college."
"That would be a good look for you, though."
"Oh, stop it."
(Aw, shucks)
I'm all blushing and shit. I wish that too, more and more as I read the critics kvetching that they don't "kill their darlings" sufficiently as the seasons pass and the decisions get bigger and whatnot.Great sex I might not know. I know a lot about paying the price.)
Seriously, we working-class hero Eric-types are not used to this much praise...somebody start some drama(Or some Drama) so I can go back to my usual self-doubt and co-dependency.
Oh, I'm kidding.
Mostly.
Yeah, it's well-written. I've got crazy skills, though.
I could have banged Michael Chabon in 1994, but I passed.
True story.
Well, he is as close as we writer-types get to Heidi Klum, is he not?
Well, him or Gaiman.
IIRC, he was born around '48, being that he was 20-ish when he was in Vietnam in 1968. FWIW, he's in pretty good shape for his age, and I think it was only a couple years ago that he and his wife rode across America on their bicycles.
I could be such a happy writer, if fanfic were enough.
And, ftr, I don't know Chabon, but I know someone that does. Between you and me, I wouldn't be surprised if he's another rich and powerful guy all "Baby, you said what on Salon?! No, of course I love your freedom of speech..you know it gets me hot. But does it have to be so much at once...Baby...Love and kisses."
"So, Drama, there's this guy on the internet that hates my guts."
Drama clapped his brother on the shoulder awkwardly. "My God, bro, you've arrived! Damn it, I told myself I wouldn't cry. But it's a powerful moment when you see your name in pixels, Vince.Of course, those of us on Viking Quest had nothing like the kind of presence an actor can expect now. Lucky bastards. You got a fanlisting yet?"
"Yeah. A few.It's no big deal, but I was just wondering if I should talk to this guy. Meet with him person-to-person and talk to him about this photo he put up."
"Vince, if you do that, you might as well put a target on your ass and bend over, pardon my French. You'll look touchy and temperamental and before too long you'll be in David Caruso territory. I'd be remiss in my duties as a sibling in the same industry if I didn't point that out. The fact that our trash cans face my bedroom is, I promise, a secondary issue, although very pertinent to my beauty sleep."
"He could go through my garbage?"
"Well, he would have legal protection if he did.Once we toss it, it's not ours in any private-property sense."
"Check out the Arnie Becker of Queens over here."
"Uff, don't remind me. I could have been a *lock* on that part if Bochco hadn't wanted a 'more seasoned 'actor'. Whatever that is."
"He meant old and beat up, Drama. Call him now."
"Fuck you, pretty boy."
"You know I love your stories, Johnny. But I've been around enough to know that when the show-runner says no, you're a long way from a lock. I'm just saying...we could ask E. if you want."
"Well, if you just want to hear the company line, sure. E's forays into formal education have left him with far too much sympathy with the Establishment viewpoint."
"What's so wrong with being like Caruso anyways? And I know you didn't call my best boy a suit, Drama. He fuckin' loves you, man, and you wait till his back's turned, and...that's just not cool, Drama. Not cool at all. I might have to go somewhere else to get my advice. And my supplements."
"All I meant was, Vin, E's not an artist. He doesn't see the world like we do. We 'walk in worlds others fear to imagine'
"That come from Viking Quest?"
"No, Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It's the one show Turtle and I can agree on in the morning since he told me a very *disturbing* fantasy involving one Kathie Lee Gifford." Vince's eyebrows went up.
"Thanks for taking one for the team, there, buddy."
"Any time, little bro. It's nothing short of my raison d'etre. Well, that and the development of my creative instrument, of course. I should have said 'during those morning when I'm not working'
"I know what you meant," Vince said, and the brothers hugged.
"Did you have your echinacea today?" Drama asked. "I feel bad you didn't have it last week."
"If I had, I never would have met Lisa." Vince said. "And I don't know what to do about that."
"Honestly, bro, as someone sleeping across the hall from you, I beg to differ, just a bit."
Vince blushed."I don't mean it like that. And I'm sorry about that. She's just, like, thankful, or something. I think she's been jerked around by science geeks. That's all the more reason to take care of this internet thing."
"So, on a scale of one to ten... with one being mummy pussy and ten being lovestruck-stalker-mix-tape..."
"God, Drama, Turtle didn't even ask me that. Aren't we a little old to be swapping stats?"
"You're afraid of her, aren't you?"
Vince made the 'just a little' finger gesture.
"Just make sure to stay your own man...the (continued...)
