Oh, Erika. Now I want to watch Sports Night. And that's like trying to find a unicorn.

sighs.

So you add the tea to the milk, not milk to the tea?

How To Make Tea In The Universe According To Fay:

1) Put teabags into teapot. (one bag per drinker, plus one for pot.)

2) Add boiling water.

3) Leave to mash. (Or steep, or verb of your choice that means 'turn into drinkable beverage'.)

4) Pour cold milk into cup. I'd say about 1/5 - 1/4 of a cup of milk.

5) Pour hot mashed tea on top of milk.

Ta-dah! Tea!

Except that in this day and age, one is often satisfied with:

1) Pour boiling water into mug.

2) Add teabag.

3) Add milk.

Or indeed:

1) Ask Starbucks barrista for Iced Latte with A Shot Of Sugarfree Vanilla.

2) Abandon all thoughts of tea.

Oh, dag, Fay. I'm sorry. But not all the way, because that means my little tale might not suck.

OK, based on a discussion in movies, here is my outline of the script and casting for Captain Blood in an alternate 1935:

In 17th century England Peter Blood (Robert Donat), a respected Irish doctor stays out of the Monmouth rebellion, but assisted by his lovely daughter Phiala Blood (Erin Flynn) who has learned the medical arts (among other things) from him treats wounded men from the battle of Sedgemoor. Both father and daughter are convicted of treason by Judge Jeffrey at the bloody assizes. The father sickens and dies in prison, Phiala is sold into slavery in Port Royal.

Phiala becomes the property of the villainous Colonel Bishop. He attempts to assault her, Phiala, but she is saved by the entrance of of his daughter Arabella ( Olivia de Havilland) who the Colonel does not wish to reveal his wicked ways to. Arabella however knows full well how evil the her father his. She witnessed his murder of her mother when Arabella was a child.

Arabella questions Phiala, learns of her medical skills. Since Port Royal is short of doctors, she proposes that he rent Phiala out as a healer. Bishop decides to take the chance at a profit, and decides to delay attacking Phiala so she is not driven to spread lurid stories about him. Arabella and Phiala become extremely close friends.

Bishop however treats Phiala cruelly even though he refrains from insulting her, and anyway she resents the loss of her freedom, so she plots with other slaves to escape. Just when it seems that escape will be thwarted, Spanish Pirates attack the island, and Phiala and her fellow slaves steal the Pirate's ship and loot. During the battle to grab the ship, Phiala reveals another skill her father taught her - sword fighting. She proves the best fighter on the ship and the rest of the crew insist she be made captain - much to disgust the second best fighter Levasseur (Basil Rathbone ). Nonetheless Levasseur accepts the situation - even when Phiala insists that they become honorable pirates, attacking only the Spanish - the enemies of England.

After a number of adventures very similar to those in our own universe's film, Captain blood rescues three dignitaries - Arabella, a representative of the King, and Colonel Bishop who had all been taken hostage by Spanish Pirates. The kings representative wants to reward the pirates for their gallant rescue, but he can't see turning loose a dangerous wild woman like Phiala Blood with no strings attached. Colonel Bishop suggest offering Blood a pardon with the condition that she marry him. "Taming her would be a great pleasure" Bishop says. The offer of pardon is made, and Bishop makes a great show of gallantry in his proposal to her.

Of course Blood has no intent of accepting the offer, but she pretends to consider it. As the ship approaches Port Royal, it becomes apparent that it is under attack by the French.

The envoy begs here to join the defense of the English colony. Much to Levasseur's relief, she replies she could never fight under the flag of King James II.

However the envoy reveals that James was deposed in the "Glorious Revolution" and that he represents William of Orange. At this good news, Blood agrees to help, provided the pardon is unconditional. She will answer Bishop's marriage proposal later.

This is too much for Levasseur, who wants to support the French and win a pardon that would let him return home. He pulls out a single shot pistol to fire at Blood, but his observed by Arabella to leaps at him. The shot goes wild and hits Bishop. He is left alive but injured, watched over by Arabella. Blood easily overcomes Levasseur, joins with the defenders of Port Royal and helps defeat the French.

Then, as the best healer in Port Royal, she returns to examine Bishop. He was left paralyzed by the shot. Further, somehow while under Arabella's care he suffered a mysterious injury to his tongue which left him unable to speak. Arabella admits to having briefly fallen asleep,and it is assumed that one of Bishop's many enemies took advantage of his helplessness to avenge an old (continued...)

( continues...) injury. (Only Blood knows Arabella is one of those enemies.) Blood announces that since Bishop suffered in defense of her, she feels honor bound to accept his offer of marriage. The envoy says he needs to find a replacement for Bishop as Governor. Arabella says that would be poor reward for his bravery. There is an old family knocking code by which Bishop can communicate with her. She will teach it to Phiala, and he can continue to rule through the two of them.

The last scene is after the wedding. Phiala asks Arabella when she will teach her the knocking code. "What knocking code?" replies Arabella. Both laugh, hold hands, and look into each others eyes as the Colonel stares at them, hating and helpless.

Typo, that is awesome!!

Thanks Sail. I would love to see someone take this and actually write the Fic. Obviously whoever wrote it would alter things to their own taste. Fay?

...shamefully, despite my well-known pirate fetish, I have not seen Captain Blood.

Or rather - I very probably have, during my misspent youth (ie spent watching old movies rather than kicking a ball around or climbing trees), but I didn't register which of the gazillion OldSkool pirate movies it actually was - they all sort of melt into a blur of big white shirts and heaving cleavage. Um.

But this plot of yours is absolutely for the win, Typo, fwiw, and I think you should write it!

Since I'm in a lj crossposting frenzy, I thought I'd post this old lyric of mine I discovered that I'd written for Ianto & Jack. I originally chickened out of posting it anywhere, but what the hell, right?

Feedback & critique totally welcomed.

Ianto's Song

i know you've got your devils
i know you've run your grifts
i know you try every taste comes by
till you find the one that fits

you go running
i know you'll go running
you go running every time
you go running
i know you'll go running
running away into the night

but here i am and i'm
stuck loving a half-hearted man
here i am and dare i try
living with a half-hearted man

maybe the one that's your one true
has got heart enough for the both of you
but your hand's in mine and i won't ask why
but i'm ready to see it through

so here am i and i'm
stuck loving a half-hearted man
here am i and dare i try
living with a half-hearted man

all i know is that in your eyes
is a universe i'd like to fly
i can meet your needs you can make me scream
so let's try it if you've got the time

here i am and i'm
stuck loving a half-hearted man
here am i and dare i try
living with a half-hearted man

so go running
i know you'll go running
but if you've got the time...

I love the rythm and the rhyme, Liese. The words just roll on, forward movememt. It sings. And now I'd love to hear it set to melody.

I have to say, I think it fits just as well to Jack addressing the Doctor. (Particularly if you ship Doctor/Master. And especially the hand!)

Liked it a lot - would love to hear it set to music, as Beverly said.