Dr. House was picking at a Reuben sandwich, which some numbskull had polluted with pickle chips again. He was beginning to think it was deliberate disrespect and trying to decide how pissed off to get when he found himself in the room with Ms. Tyler. Almost instinctively, House flinched.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Jaye reassured. “My mother isn’t here.”

”If I’m an agnostic and say thank God, you won’t get offended, right? Dr.Wilson likes it when I care. He’s got a fetish...it’s the pediatric thing...looking at all those finger paintings.”

”I can see how that could get fucked up.” Jaye, not waiting for an invite, sat down next to him and began taking the pickles without asking if he minded. He began to see what he might have missed not being a father.

“She’s my mother, but she can be a little...”

If he had been a father, he could only hope for a diplomatic pause. “Before I got distracted,” Jaye continued, “I wanted to tell you what I told Dr. Wilson...I’m checking out today. Don’t get me wrong...I’m stoked not to have a tumor or anything...”

“Being cancer-free is pretty fab.” House said dryly.

“But I’ve been thinking about it and it doesn’t hurt or anything...the animals and stuff.”

Consider yourself lucky there. Because like Pavlov’s thigh muscle, it was as if his leg heard the word “hurt” and started to throb. He took a pill, not feeling the urge to make a one-man show of it like usually. Jaye munched on a dill chip and pretended not to notice.

“There comes a point,” she continued, “in that case, where you have to... well, I would say ‘accept’ but that’s lame, isn’t it? What’s the word I want...with the white flag and stuff?”

“Surrender,” House replied, with the same satisfaction he used when he filled in the Times crossword in pen...Stacy, in particular, resented that tone, but Tyler appeared impervious to resentment outside of that little gift store. Ugh. Retail. Having to be pleasant all day long. If there is a hell, I know what mine would look like.

“Exactly.” She replied. “surrender to destiny.” She wished the lion wasn’t back in the hotel room so she could look in its squashed face and say “satisfied?”

“Destiny can deal painfully with some of us, Ms. Tyler.” House said, and his gaze was serious, Jaye thought maybe even sad, but she knew better than to ask. “Have you thought this through?”

“Oh, yes,”Jaye said. “I’ll be fine.”

The next morning, Cameron, Chase, and Foreman got into work ahead of their testy mentor, for once. Inside the office stood a bonsai tree in a pot.
“Whoa,” said Foreman.
“Do you think House switched substances?” Chase asked.

“You really did go to a fancy school, didn’t you?”Foreman snarked.

”You guys are so uncultured...it’s a bonsai. I think they’re...lucky or something. It’s been such a long time since I read anything but slides...” Cameron said.

“You wouldn’t know anything about this would you?” Chase asked.

“Yeah, Allison, cause we know this world is killing you and everything.” Foreman teased, and was rewarded by Cameron’s deep firm blush.

“Not you, too,” she murmured.

“Elvis is pretty fly for a white guy.”

”Don’t you think that House is a little bit like... okay, not quite as funky and cool, but, you know...”

Chase and Foreman cracked up laughing. “Cameron, girlfriend, you know I like you, right? And if I was a germ and saw you coming, I’d haul ass in the other direction, cause your medical skills are that serious, but you are definitely alone in that little delusion, okay?”

Chase added “Don’t call her ‘girlfriend’ or she’ll quit till you date her.”

Is Foreman with an "e" like 70s' show Foreman? Or Forman, cause I've seen both.

Is Foreman with an "e" like 70s' show Foreman? Or Forman, cause I've seen both.

IMDB and Fox website both say Foreman.

Ok...will fix. That Foreman...not a dumbass.

“Since Cameron’s got the vested interest,” Foreman said, “I nominate her to read the card.”

”I’m not gonna do that,” Cameron argued.”It’s creepy.”

“You have opened his mail before,” Foreman said, “And you’re the one that’s gonna be eaten up till you know.”

”But that was work mail,”she replied. “Who’s the patient this time? The National Arbor Day foundation?! No. I have standards.”

”Oh, dear Lord, Cameron. You’re a doctor. Your whole purpose in life is getting into things and making it look as though you haven’t.” Chase pointed out.

“Really? Interesting reworking of the Hippocratic oath.”

“A little warm water, and you can open up the envelope and seal it over again like nothing happened.”

”I am both freaked out and filled with a whole new respect. Chase, man, for real. I also don’t have to wonder why y’all drink tea all the time.”

“I’m still on the record as being opposed.”

“Mark Cameron down as a vote for No Fun. As usual.” Foreman said, when Chase returned with the softened envelope.

“I’m fun,” Cameron said. “Well, I have my moments.”

“I’m sure you do,” Chase said and smiled indulgently.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“You know you would, Chase. So just shut it.” Foreman said.

“Ok, let me get it out...it would make it worse if you tore it.”

”Check out Martha Stewart.”

“The defendant,” Chase added.

Cameron read in a quiet voice, lest anyone burst in:

“Dear Greg...Aw.”

”Well, he does have a name.”

”I know,” Foreman said, “But it feels like he should have been born House. Like Vader or Kong.”

”Let me finish...”

“Dear Greg: Let this die and I swear to you I’ll buy my own cane to beat you with. Well, suffice to say, with work and everything, I definitely know how short life is, and Tyler really got me thinking. Surrender to destiny. J.”

“Who’s J?”

”You can’t be serious...he has a puppy face and is one of the only people in the world Dr. House doesn’t think an absolute bloody idiot. Cures cancer when he isn’t involved with the other impossible task of being House’s best mate.”

“ Dr. House doesn’t think I’m an idiot, does he?” Cameron worried.

”Not all the time.” Foreman reassured.

Foreman was embarrassed that this made Cameron smile. The woman had some problems.

“Dr. Wilson.”

”I think she’s got it...yes, it’s James. With a J.”

Awwwww.

Thanks.

Erika, this is fantastic.

Fantastic! Bless! Just - I have no words. Bless! Very very well done you.

Bless!

Thanks...I hoped you would like it!! I realized last night that I forgot to put in one of the scenes that are major House highlights for me...maybe later today. Vicodin mixes nicely with Monkey Crack, apparently.(don't tell the doctor...he's out of control enough.)

Dr. House was genuinely surprised to get the summons from Cuddy this time, instead of faking incredulity like usual. It was true. A lot of things were better when nobody faked it.

“Dr. Cuddenstein,” he greeted her. “I think you’re trying to seduce me.”

”I know I told you my name got cut off at Ellis Island, but it’s not “Cuddenstein” so you can stop calling me that any minute now, okay? And I would, but what would we do for the other five minutes?”

“What? What’d I do this time? Didn’t even get to use the crash cart, which I admit lacked dramatic tension but I thought would at least spare me the sight of that vein in your forehead.”

”I got a call from Karen Tyler today.”

“Who?” He knew damned well, but acting above it all gave him some mystique.

”Jaye Tyler’s mother. She is upset that you let Jaye leave the hospital AMA.”

“It wasn’t A *my* A. Or Foreman’s either. We didn’t find anything. So, what did she really call you for? To borrow your copy of “Powerful Women,Powerful Breasts”?”

Cuddy swallowed a smile. She could only rarely afford to let Greg know she thought he was funny. “No, she called Shapiro, in Psych.”

”That little apple-polisher...he won’t be happy until he finds something wrong with her. Justifies his salary...the little putz.”

”What would you do, Greg. If your daughter started getting messages from stuffed animals?”

“If she were my daughter, I’d start stepping up the urine tests, Cuddy, in all honesty. But we didn’t find anything there either...I’m serious as a muscle infarction.”

She nodded. “If you’re wrong, the guilt could be tremendous...how much do you trust Foreman?”

“He’s good. It’s annoying because he won’t take direction, but I trust him in all matters related to brains. It’s Chase who is the dirty little rat.”

“Do you always talk about him like that?”

”Yeah...it’s good for him. Cancels out all the gasping over his cute little Australian accent.” When she glared at him, House said, “But I cancelled the t-shirt that said “I ratted out my mentor and all I got was this lousy t-shirt”. I thought it could be damaging.”

“Yes.” Cuddy said, dryly. “They should have just asked your psychological opinion.”

“Ask Wilson...he’s not a monster like me, right? Does that make me “Cuddenstein’s Monster? “

“Yeah...talked to James. Imagine my surprise when he took your part, yet again. When you drink a glass of water, can he talk at all?No...that’s not fair to Wilson...but you haven’t been strong-arming him or anything have you? Because I said your name and he got all flustered and blushed like...well, never mind. Now, James Wilson may not be the $84 million man like some people in this room, but he’s a damn fine oncologist and I’ll stand up for him because it’s my job. It’s my job to stand up for all my people, House. Do you understand? Even a guy like Shapiro. He’s okay, even if he’s not a hot-shot.”

“Yes, yes.” House said. “I’ll just tell Ms. Tyler when her life’s ruined by medications she doesn’t need, the stigma of mental illness, and possibly a nifty bonus like shuffling when she walks that it should be okay because our Chief of Staff is a team player. I’m sure that will impress everyone at the group home.”

“That’s not fair,” Cuddy said.

“The truth isn’t, you know.”