But that would be bad, because Wilson, whatever else he is, is House's biggest shot at humanity.

I feel the need to point out the total rightness of this statement. Also I feel a need to write the fic that shows it, but I wouldn't do it justice.

pets the pretty plot bunny

You should do it. Cause it's yummy.ETA: In their own way, I believe that Cuddy, Stacy, Cameron, and the rest of the Irregulars have their parts to play in that, but I believe that Wilson is one of the few human beings whom House really cares about pissing off and to whom he'd apologize...and what's more human than that? Even so, I only gave that apology about half a beat, because people don't really say "You're what keeps me connected to the human race, Wilson."

I thought I would finish today, but this is not endpoint.
“So, how’d it go with Tyler?” Wilson asked.

”She’s clean...her brain’s so healthy it squeaks. I’m completely stumped by her symptoms...that knowledge doesn’t leave this table, by the way.”

“I’ll take it to my grave,” Wilson promised, only realizing after the fact how intense he was being. House raised an eyebrow and gave him one of his glares but he didn’t say anything, “especially since...well, we had our own encounter today...and she gave me a great big kiss.”

”Wilson, are you blushing?”Oh, sure, Wilson thought, that he notices.

“I have one question,” House said, scanning him as if he were a Plainfield Irregular like Chase.”How could you? Well, I take that back...I have two questions. Could I be losing my diagnostic knack around conscious people? Bringing people back from the brink seems to be my stock-in-trade these days.”

”Death is your gift. Stopping it, I mean.”

“Dylan Thomas? Bob Dylan?”

“Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It’s weird, but my niece really loves it.”

“Thank God. I was beginning to think you’d turned into one of those weirdos that only watches the Discovery Channel and those crazy imports from the BBC.”

”Nope. Rotting my brain as much as always.”

”I knew I could count on you.”

”Always.”

”Wilson, I don’t care if you get into my stash, but let me know next time. I’d rather not be caught unaware by your emoting and getting wet kisses from patients...you know what kills me about that?”

“I know it looks unprofessional, but she surprised me.”

”Do you think I care about those kinds of rules?”

“Three giant file folders in Cuddy’s office filed under “W” for “We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Badges’ would argue “Hell, no’, House. But you know I do.”

“That isn’t what bothers me...it’s that Robson saw you, and I thought he was lying. I hate that guy...it would take years off my life to admit “Grave” Robson, crack pathologist, was right. It makes me rethink my whole cosmology.”

Teasing, Wilson said, “And we can’t have that.”

“No,” House said, serious as a myocardial infarction, “we can’t. Not with Tyler throwing off my mojo and everything.”

“Mojo?”

“Ok, if it’ll make you feel better, pretend I said ‘gestalt’ or something brainy.”

”I always do.” Wilson said, “And it usually does make me feel better.”

“You are such a geek.”

” Cheer up. Maybe Jaye Tyler will choke on a chicken bone and you will snatch her back from the jaws of death.”

“True. And it’s not like Robson’s patients are roaming through the hospital gossiping. But if I cure her, Mrs. Tyler will thank me.”

“You knew this profession had risks when you signed on, Greg.”

“So...Cuddy really doesn’t have my stuff filed like that, does she? Because it’s petty, and unlike her, and kind of a turn-on, frankly.”

”Well, yes, she does. Because “complaints,”, “disciplinary action” and “House” were full already, and she said since she was going to spend so much time filing stuff on you, she ‘might as well get a smile out of it’ End quote."

"Well, that's just...neat."

So, we get House/Wonderfalls and Buffy refs, too?

Dies, goes to heaven.

I think, sometimes, that House speaks like Spike. Or at least the side of Spike that brought us "The Yoko Factor".So I guess it was only a matter of time. And I guess "Because they're yummy." always reminded of "That's just...neat." And I can picture some excitable teen telling her Uncle James about vampires with souls and stuff and he doesn't really understand but stuff sticks in his head anyway, sort of like me and "Firefly" about which I know little, but sometimes I still think "No power in the 'verse can stop me."

Dr. House was picking at a Reuben sandwich, which some numbskull had polluted with pickle chips again. He was beginning to think it was deliberate disrespect and trying to decide how pissed off to get when he found himself in the room with Ms. Tyler. Almost instinctively, House flinched.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Jaye reassured. “My mother isn’t here.”

”If I’m an agnostic and say thank God, you won’t get offended, right? Dr.Wilson likes it when I care. He’s got a fetish...it’s the pediatric thing...looking at all those finger paintings.”

”I can see how that could get fucked up.” Jaye, not waiting for an invite, sat down next to him and began taking the pickles without asking if he minded. He began to see what he might have missed not being a father.

“She’s my mother, but she can be a little...”

If he had been a father, he could only hope for a diplomatic pause. “Before I got distracted,” Jaye continued, “I wanted to tell you what I told Dr. Wilson...I’m checking out today. Don’t get me wrong...I’m stoked not to have a tumor or anything...”

“Being cancer-free is pretty fab.” House said dryly.

“But I’ve been thinking about it and it doesn’t hurt or anything...the animals and stuff.”

Consider yourself lucky there. Because like Pavlov’s thigh muscle, it was as if his leg heard the word “hurt” and started to throb. He took a pill, not feeling the urge to make a one-man show of it like usually. Jaye munched on a dill chip and pretended not to notice.

“There comes a point,” she continued, “in that case, where you have to... well, I would say ‘accept’ but that’s lame, isn’t it? What’s the word I want...with the white flag and stuff?”

“Surrender,” House replied, with the same satisfaction he used when he filled in the Times crossword in pen...Stacy, in particular, resented that tone, but Tyler appeared impervious to resentment outside of that little gift store. Ugh. Retail. Having to be pleasant all day long. If there is a hell, I know what mine would look like.

“Exactly.” She replied. “surrender to destiny.” She wished the lion wasn’t back in the hotel room so she could look in its squashed face and say “satisfied?”

“Destiny can deal painfully with some of us, Ms. Tyler.” House said, and his gaze was serious, Jaye thought maybe even sad, but she knew better than to ask. “Have you thought this through?”

“Oh, yes,”Jaye said. “I’ll be fine.”

The next morning, Cameron, Chase, and Foreman got into work ahead of their testy mentor, for once. Inside the office stood a bonsai tree in a pot.
“Whoa,” said Foreman.
“Do you think House switched substances?” Chase asked.

“You really did go to a fancy school, didn’t you?”Foreman snarked.

”You guys are so uncultured...it’s a bonsai. I think they’re...lucky or something. It’s been such a long time since I read anything but slides...” Cameron said.

“You wouldn’t know anything about this would you?” Chase asked.

“Yeah, Allison, cause we know this world is killing you and everything.” Foreman teased, and was rewarded by Cameron’s deep firm blush.

“Not you, too,” she murmured.

“Elvis is pretty fly for a white guy.”

”Don’t you think that House is a little bit like... okay, not quite as funky and cool, but, you know...”

Chase and Foreman cracked up laughing. “Cameron, girlfriend, you know I like you, right? And if I was a germ and saw you coming, I’d haul ass in the other direction, cause your medical skills are that serious, but you are definitely alone in that little delusion, okay?”

Chase added “Don’t call her ‘girlfriend’ or she’ll quit till you date her.”

Is Foreman with an "e" like 70s' show Foreman? Or Forman, cause I've seen both.

Is Foreman with an "e" like 70s' show Foreman? Or Forman, cause I've seen both.

IMDB and Fox website both say Foreman.

Ok...will fix. That Foreman...not a dumbass.

“Since Cameron’s got the vested interest,” Foreman said, “I nominate her to read the card.”

”I’m not gonna do that,” Cameron argued.”It’s creepy.”

“You have opened his mail before,” Foreman said, “And you’re the one that’s gonna be eaten up till you know.”

”But that was work mail,”she replied. “Who’s the patient this time? The National Arbor Day foundation?! No. I have standards.”

”Oh, dear Lord, Cameron. You’re a doctor. Your whole purpose in life is getting into things and making it look as though you haven’t.” Chase pointed out.

“Really? Interesting reworking of the Hippocratic oath.”

“A little warm water, and you can open up the envelope and seal it over again like nothing happened.”

”I am both freaked out and filled with a whole new respect. Chase, man, for real. I also don’t have to wonder why y’all drink tea all the time.”

“I’m still on the record as being opposed.”

“Mark Cameron down as a vote for No Fun. As usual.” Foreman said, when Chase returned with the softened envelope.

“I’m fun,” Cameron said. “Well, I have my moments.”

“I’m sure you do,” Chase said and smiled indulgently.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“You know you would, Chase. So just shut it.” Foreman said.

“Ok, let me get it out...it would make it worse if you tore it.”

”Check out Martha Stewart.”

“The defendant,” Chase added.

Cameron read in a quiet voice, lest anyone burst in:

“Dear Greg...Aw.”

”Well, he does have a name.”

”I know,” Foreman said, “But it feels like he should have been born House. Like Vader or Kong.”

”Let me finish...”

“Dear Greg: Let this die and I swear to you I’ll buy my own cane to beat you with. Well, suffice to say, with work and everything, I definitely know how short life is, and Tyler really got me thinking. Surrender to destiny. J.”

“Who’s J?”

”You can’t be serious...he has a puppy face and is one of the only people in the world Dr. House doesn’t think an absolute bloody idiot. Cures cancer when he isn’t involved with the other impossible task of being House’s best mate.”

“ Dr. House doesn’t think I’m an idiot, does he?” Cameron worried.

”Not all the time.” Foreman reassured.

Foreman was embarrassed that this made Cameron smile. The woman had some problems.

“Dr. Wilson.”

”I think she’s got it...yes, it’s James. With a J.”