Hehehe. Oh, this is going to be good. I don't think she's getting close to his heart, I think she's getting close to his...tongue depressor.

Don't look now...I think I've written pre-slash. Of course, it's still one of my stories so it's talky-meat, awkward, pre-slash, but...first guy couple I've ever felt like I could write for.

Later that day, Wilson met House in the cafeteria. It was uncanny how that happened, that somebody so allergic to schedules should be there so often on a Friday, which was often Wilson’s long day.TGIF is for lesser mortals. He then rejected that thought as being too Housely. He had to be careful about that. Wilson liked people.

“You would not believe the day I’ve had,” he said without preamble and without the whole ‘fancy meeting you here’ thing that House seemed to expect. It was insulting to a lot of people’s intelligence, is what it was. Face it. They had a routine now. Someday they would buy Wilson’s old-man black socks together and road-test House’s canes. The thought was only half as depressing as he thought it would be. Maybe he was really eager to put the whole couple thing aside for a while...or maybe...he couldn’t finish that thought, which was as startling as it was simple. Well, not simple...a conscientious guy like him would only be comfortable with such a thing if he took on a whole new identity. Joined the Federation of Bisexual Doctors or something...was there one? If there wasn’t, and he took that step, just laid one on House like that very strange girl had just done, well, he’d be the guy to start one. He didn’t need to up-end his whole life any more than he already had. And House was still House.

“Oh, I know this one. At the end of most of these stories is a little bald child, right?”

“You know, I’ve often wondered what the worst thing you could say would be.”

”You mean...”

”I don’t have to wonder anymore.” Wilson assured him grimly.

“I’m sorry....but you knew I was a spoiler fiend when you met me.”

”Those ‘General Hospital’ sites have really added to your vocabulary, by the way.”

“Cool, huh?”

”If you say so. I’m really surprised Cuddy hasn’t put in those filters yet.”

“It’s the way she proves her love for me. And I tell her I’m looking up diseases from Africa.”

“If she decides to, she could check at any moment. It’s called a History, Greg.”

“Blah, blah...don’t tell me about the cache or I’ll be too stimulated to sleep tonight. You know, if I told the people on the internet that I’ve treated mobsters and supermodels, I could be a BNF.” Wilson wanted to tell House not to underestimate history.

“I shudder to think. Also, how’d we end up talking about you again?”

“Let me finish. Big Name Fan...it’s kind of cool but then people turn on you...think you’re full of yourself.”

”You? Never. Although you have extended me two social courtesies today. I should remember to mark your chart in the lounge.”

“It’s different with you, Wilson.” House replied. “You’re different.”

House... talking about BNF status...

t head explodes, in a good way

erika, it's genius. Not awkward at all. And I think House should be an honorary Buffista. He would so lurk here. If he were, you know, real.

Yeah...he'd totally get that "Everybody's spelling is really bad. It's depressing," thing. And the usual absence of emoticons. Coming here would boost his ego a lot, too(Not that he's got a self-image problem, though.) How hopping would Bureau be? I'm thinking with House posting, Bureau could outstrip Natter in the rapids-of-words department. Especially if Wilson doesn't take up the habit, too. Although he might...this isn't your little sister's fan board. Suddenly hearing "bullshit consensus" in House-voice and am amused. He would love that phrase...buy it ice cream. Adopt it for use on Cameron, Chase and Forman.

“You know, I’ve often wondered what the worst thing you could say would be.”

”I don’t have to wonder anymore.” Wilson assured him grimly.

Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

the worst thing you could say would be

And here I thought it was, "No, Wilson, I don't want you to kiss me."

Actually, I think you could fuck with him pretty much. He strikes me as gracious as House is prickly. But fucking with his patients? In any way whatever? I don't think so.(if they ever needed them to be at odds...after mopping up slasher tears, that would be the way.) But that would be bad, because Wilson, whatever else he is, is House's biggest shot at humanity.

But that would be bad, because Wilson, whatever else he is, is House's biggest shot at humanity.

I feel the need to point out the total rightness of this statement. Also I feel a need to write the fic that shows it, but I wouldn't do it justice.

pets the pretty plot bunny

You should do it. Cause it's yummy.ETA: In their own way, I believe that Cuddy, Stacy, Cameron, and the rest of the Irregulars have their parts to play in that, but I believe that Wilson is one of the few human beings whom House really cares about pissing off and to whom he'd apologize...and what's more human than that? Even so, I only gave that apology about half a beat, because people don't really say "You're what keeps me connected to the human race, Wilson."

I thought I would finish today, but this is not endpoint.
“So, how’d it go with Tyler?” Wilson asked.

”She’s clean...her brain’s so healthy it squeaks. I’m completely stumped by her symptoms...that knowledge doesn’t leave this table, by the way.”

“I’ll take it to my grave,” Wilson promised, only realizing after the fact how intense he was being. House raised an eyebrow and gave him one of his glares but he didn’t say anything, “especially since...well, we had our own encounter today...and she gave me a great big kiss.”

”Wilson, are you blushing?”Oh, sure, Wilson thought, that he notices.

“I have one question,” House said, scanning him as if he were a Plainfield Irregular like Chase.”How could you? Well, I take that back...I have two questions. Could I be losing my diagnostic knack around conscious people? Bringing people back from the brink seems to be my stock-in-trade these days.”

”Death is your gift. Stopping it, I mean.”

“Dylan Thomas? Bob Dylan?”

“Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It’s weird, but my niece really loves it.”

“Thank God. I was beginning to think you’d turned into one of those weirdos that only watches the Discovery Channel and those crazy imports from the BBC.”

”Nope. Rotting my brain as much as always.”

”I knew I could count on you.”

”Always.”

”Wilson, I don’t care if you get into my stash, but let me know next time. I’d rather not be caught unaware by your emoting and getting wet kisses from patients...you know what kills me about that?”

“I know it looks unprofessional, but she surprised me.”

”Do you think I care about those kinds of rules?”

“Three giant file folders in Cuddy’s office filed under “W” for “We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Badges’ would argue “Hell, no’, House. But you know I do.”

“That isn’t what bothers me...it’s that Robson saw you, and I thought he was lying. I hate that guy...it would take years off my life to admit “Grave” Robson, crack pathologist, was right. It makes me rethink my whole cosmology.”

Teasing, Wilson said, “And we can’t have that.”

“No,” House said, serious as a myocardial infarction, “we can’t. Not with Tyler throwing off my mojo and everything.”

“Mojo?”

“Ok, if it’ll make you feel better, pretend I said ‘gestalt’ or something brainy.”

”I always do.” Wilson said, “And it usually does make me feel better.”

“You are such a geek.”

” Cheer up. Maybe Jaye Tyler will choke on a chicken bone and you will snatch her back from the jaws of death.”

“True. And it’s not like Robson’s patients are roaming through the hospital gossiping. But if I cure her, Mrs. Tyler will thank me.”

“You knew this profession had risks when you signed on, Greg.”

“So...Cuddy really doesn’t have my stuff filed like that, does she? Because it’s petty, and unlike her, and kind of a turn-on, frankly.”

”Well, yes, she does. Because “complaints,”, “disciplinary action” and “House” were full already, and she said since she was going to spend so much time filing stuff on you, she ‘might as well get a smile out of it’ End quote."

"Well, that's just...neat."