You know, my big sister could really beat the crap out of her. I mean, really really.

Dawn ,'Storyteller'


Buffista Fic 2: They Said It Couldn't Be Done.

[NAFDA] Where the Buffistas let their fanfic creative juices flow. May contain erotica.


WindSparrow - Sep 06, 2014 4:16:45 pm PDT #1006 of 1103
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.

Oh yes, that's good, chris. I like the chemistry between Emma and Regina here.


chrismg - Sep 06, 2014 5:34:19 pm PDT #1007 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

I should probably mention, there's not going to be any more Swan Queen in this than in the actual show.


victor infante - Sep 07, 2014 6:46:02 am PDT #1008 of 1103
To understand what happened at the diner, we shall use Mr. Papaya! This is upsetting because he's the friendliest of fruits.

I should probably mention, there's not going to be any more Swan Queen in this than in the actual show.

That's really the best way to do it, for my money: Build from the framework and relationships as they're handed to you. If they're going to morph or change, those changes will present themselves as you write.


victor infante - Sep 08, 2014 7:39:05 pm PDT #1009 of 1103
To understand what happened at the diner, we shall use Mr. Papaya! This is upsetting because he's the friendliest of fruits.

Heaven's in Here

Part Six: Dance With the Devil

Hunt having taken off already, I was left to ride back to the station with Smith and Black. I waited in Smith's car while they dealt with getting Max carted back in a patrol car. Which was fine. I needed a moment to catch my breath before heading back into the mess. I still had no idea what was going on. I didn't know if Max being here is a coincidence or not. And if I really did have a life here, I had no idea where I lived.

The crackle of the police radio was lulling me to sleep. Slowly, I drifted off, until I heard a familiar, acerbic voice cut through the static.

So it's true? said a voice that could only be Guy Gardner's. Somebody killed Beetle?

It's true says Diana. Who did it? Guy responds, his voice colder than I think I've heard. And why the Hell are you floating around here with HER … instead of getting the old crew together and kicking their asses?

The conversation goes back and forth, with Guy becoming increasingly belligerent and Diana somehow becoming even more sympathetic. There's a third person there, and I don't need to hear his voice to know who it is.

OK. Look. Shut up, all right says Guy. Yes, you've got a body to die for, and I'll admit, I could stare at that rack for hours. But you're not one of us, so keep out of this, OK?

Diana protests, but it's obvious that Booster's made up his mind.

Look, he says, finally finding his voice. I appreciate everything you've done … more than you can know. You believed Ted when no one else did. But Guy's right. You were never part of our League.

I wake with a start as Smith and Black get back into the car.

“Catching a cat nap?” asks Black. I can get you home If you want a little lie down ...”

“No, no,” I say. “I'm fine. Just been a long day, I reply, but thankfully, no one is in a talkative mood. I stare out the window as Sarah Jane drives, and watch London unfold. Why London? I think. Is it because Max is here?

Guy, Booster, Diana … they're trying to find out what happened. If only I could communicate with them. For a moment, I consider leaving some sort of time capsule or something, but I can't say for certain this is really my world. For one thing, I can't find any trace that the Justice Society ever existed. Even when I was a kid and they were nowhere to be found, you'd see a picture of them somewhere … some old magazine, somebody's framed keepsake in an office. Something. Here, it's like they never existed.

The station is in an uproar, with the three teenagers being brought in. Confusion abounds, as no one seems entirely sure why they were there – particularly Max. But there's something else in the air, too, and it comes to a head as Srgt. Jenkins. Stops me almost as soon as I walk in.

“DI Kord,” she says. “You need to be in interrogation room No. 3. DCI Hunt is interrogating those twins.

“I just need to check ...”

“You don't seem to understand,” she says. “DCI Hunt is interrogating them. That never goes well. Well, maybe once.”

When the seriousness on her face sinks in, I move hurriedly toward the interrogation room, where Hunt is waving his arms menacingly and shouting at the Arab teen.

“All right, Muammar Junior,” shouts Hunt, right in the boy's face. “You're going to tell me what you and your little comrades have been up to, or else I'm going see to it that you have a one way ticket back to wherever you came from ...”

“I'm from London,” says the boy, surprising clam. I'm British, of Egyptian descent, not Libyan.”

“I don't give a flying fuck if you're Ali-fucking Baba and your little Socialite Socialist are your fucking thieves, you ...”

I can't be sure if he was actually going to take the swing, but the machine-gun blasts of racism were enough to get me riled up, and I was in a bad mood already. But however it happened, I was suddenly standing between Hunt and the boy.

“What the Hell do you think you're doing?” I shouted at him. (continued...)


victor infante - Sep 08, 2014 7:39:05 pm PDT #1010 of 1103
To understand what happened at the diner, we shall use Mr. Papaya! This is upsetting because he's the friendliest of fruits.

( continues...) “He's just a teenager!”

“That teenager,” said Hunt, “knows something. He either knows where the two missing kids are, or knows why they were taken. He knows why that boy's dead. You can go ahead and report my to D and C if you want – Keats would love another crack at me – but I'm going to find out what's what, and we don't have time to coddle his poor little rich boy sensitivities.”

Hunt towered over me, and maybe it was just because I had heard Guy's voice on the radio, it was clear that this monolithic overreaction was because he was sincerely worried about the kids. Maybe even this kid. Still …

“Let's speak outside,” I said, trying to sound as serious as I could. Hunt just grunted and followed me out to the hallway.

“Look,” I said, “there's a right way and a wrong way to question ..." and suddenly I was pinned against the wall by his hammock hands.

“Don't go lecturing me, you sanctimonious Yankee bastard,” said Hunt, "people like you ….”

I didn't let him finish, but rather grabbed his arm, twisted and threw him against the opposite wall.

“I don't like bullies,” Hunt. “You're probably right about what he knows, but ...”

“But there is a right way and a wrong way,” said a new voice – an English accent, but with a small, imperceptible alien quality to it. “DCI Hunt, DI Kord. he added casually, as though he were just passing them in the hall.

Hunt and I looked up from our confrontation to see a tall, handsome am with a thick shock of blonde hair, watching impassively with his hands behind his back.

“DCS Vale,” said Hunt, and I realized this had to to be some sort of big boss.

“Gene,” said Vale, still eerily calm, all things considered. “I just stopped in to talk to DI Kord.”

“Me?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“Indeed,” said Vale. “We have things to discuss."


chrismg - Sep 15, 2014 3:26:33 pm PDT #1011 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

It's Already Here Chapter 4

The remainder of the voyage passed without incident, beyond the occasional exchange of glares during lessons. By the time the Arendelle seawall appeared in the distance, they'd determined that Emma's magic worked sufficiently different from Regina's that they needed to work out a very different set of exercises for her to practice.

Something to work on when we're back in Storybrooke, or at least after we deal with whatever's here in Arendelle, Emma thought as she leaned against the starboard rail, watching the mountains slide by. Up ahead she could see a gap in the seawall, with the sounds and smells of a town coming from beyond it.

The weather had chilled as they'd travelled north, and the sky was now overcast and grey. The mountain peaks were gleaming with snow, even here in summer. The ship slid forward, slowly curving over to pass through the gate. Emma glanced over as Regina joined her at the rail.

"Do we have a plan, or are we just going to wander into town?"

Regina smiled knowingly. "I conjured up a diplomatic flag last night." She nodded at the mainmast. "It's been flying the whole day. If they have good lookouts, the castle should already have received word, if not," she shrugged, "they'll see it when we dock. In any case, it should get us an escort, and through the gates."

"And, what are we going to tell them?"

"I think the truth will do." Regina blinked innocently in the face of Emma's suspicious scowl. "What?"

Emma started to demand a better explanation, then snapped her mouth shut as the Captain joined them. They were past the gate now, and tacking slowly towards an open dock.

"All packed, miladies?" He smiled with a twinkle in his eye. "Mr Mitchell is eager to get his cabin back, I think."

"We're set to go." Emma smiled back, then glanced up at the sky. "Pity those clear skies didn't follow us up here. I bet these mountains are a real sight in the sun."

He glanced up at the peaks beside the ships. "Aye, I guess they would be." Off Emma's puzzled look he went on, "I've never seen a sunny day here in Arendelle, not in all the years I've been sailing this way. Some say winter has such a grip here, it never quite goes away."

"Huh." Emma peered at the sky again, then gave the Captain a smile as the ship slowed to a crawl. "Well, thanks for putting up with us. I know it wasn't always...." She hesitated.

"Like any sea journey, it had its ups and downs." He looked thoughtful. "At least one time, we were very glad you were on board. Still, it seems we're about to part for good." The ship heaved to a halt several yards from the dock, and lines were cast for the dockmen to catch and pull them up flush.

Regina put in, "Depending on what we find here, we may need ocean passage again."

"If, you know, we haven't put you off travelling with us completely." Regina gave her a scowl.

"I'll keep it in mind," he said dryly. "In the mean time," he peered down the dock as the gangplank was run out, "I believe someone has come to meet you."

Emma followed his gaze, and saw a figure in green livery waiting where the dock joined the shore. He looked rather out of place among the rough-looking dockworkers.

"Ladies." The Captain stepped back and saluted sharply. "I'll tell him to expect you. It's been a pleasure." And he strode off down the gangway, Regina's murmur of thanks following on the breeze.

Emma glanced over at Regina, who was still studying the official on the dock. After a moment, she returned Emma's gaze and said, "Ready, Your Highness?"

Emma blinked. "Uh...sure. Lead on, Your Majesty."

Regina marched smartly down the gangplank, somehow making a pantsuit and coat seem like royal robes. No sense of magic in the air, so it must be a mental thing. Emma sighed. Wonder if she could teach me that, or if it's just keeping the royal attitude on all the time.

They reached the official, a portly, smooth-faced man, just as the Captain headed off, nodding briefly to them as he left. (continued...)


chrismg - Sep 15, 2014 3:26:34 pm PDT #1012 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

( continues...) The official took a breath-

"I am Regina, Queen-in-exile of the Enchanted Forest, and I request an audience with His Majesty the King at his earliest convenience."

The man stared at her for a moment, looking rather thrown. "Ah. Well- *ahem* , I am Mulroney, diplomatic attache, and I will be pleased to escort you to the castle and convey your request." He glanced at Emma uncertainly. "And, your companion, Your Majesty?"

Regina somehow managed to make a simple hand-wave seem exceedingly condescending. "This is Princess Emma, daughter of Snow White."

Mulroney stared back and forth between them for a moment, which was good because it covered Emma's own double-take. "I....see." He visibly gathered his composure and gestured up the stairs. "If you'll follow me, the castle is just a short walk-"

"Of course." Regina looked at him coolly until he scrambled up the stairs, glancing back as he went. She followed, looking as if the absence of trumpets and rose petals was a minor discourtesy.

Emma stood staring at her for a second, then took off after, bending her head next to Regina's ear. "Next time we're discussing beforehand which truth you're going to be telling!"

  • **

The castle was built out into the fjord, with a causeway leading to it from the rest of the town, and high stone walls surrounding a courtyard and the main building. Mulroney led them up the steps and inside, leaving them in a small sitting room. He assured them he would send for them as soon as the King gave the word and headed off, taking a packet of papers Regina had said were her "credentials"; Emma suspected her of conjuring them during the walk.

The room was small, but well-furnished and warmed by a fire on the hearth. A maid in the same green livery as Mulroney had brought a pot of tea, and they'd both poured themselves a cup.

Emma eyed her tea, and silently mourned the lack of coffee. She glanced around the room. "This looks more like a manor house than the castles I saw back in the Enchanted Forest."

"Hmmm." Regina studied the ceiling and sipped her tea. "I suspect it's a matter of available materials. The sort of stone used in the walls and courtyard outside may not serve well for building a house. And of course, timber is easier to transport through the mountains."

Emma snorted. "The way Grumpy and the others talk, they can cut any kind of stone and carry it anywhere."

"Well, it's more true than not. But there may not be any dwarves in this part of the world. Once you leave the Forest, you can find magical creatures of all different sorts, and the ones you know may not appear at all."

Emma was eyeing her sidelong and struggling with the urge to try and break through the condescending schoolmarm routine, when Regina put her tea down and stood facing the door, just as Mulroney opened it. He started, then gestured behind him. "The King has requested your presence."

Regina nodded slightly and followed him out; Emma put down her teacup too fast, wincing as it spilled, then headed after them. Mulroney led them down one corridor, then another, and into an audience hall large enough to double as a ballroom.

There were a couple knots of people at the sides of the room, but Mulroney led them straight to the end, where a trio of thrones sat on a dais raised a few steps. Emma studied the man in the frontmost chair as they approached; instead of the robes and tunics she remembered from the Enchanted Forest, he wore a military-style jacket with trousers of matching white. His hair and beard were neatly trimmed, a rich red-brown going to gray at the edges. Behind him were two smaller seats; one was unoccupied, but the other-

Emma nearly stumbled in recognition. The girl's gown was pleated sea-green instead of flowing ice-blue, but the shape of her face and the shade of her white-blonde hair matched Elsa's too closely for coincidence. No question we've found the right family. I guess this is Queen Anna's daughter? Looks like she's a few years younger than her aunt, maybe just (continued...)


chrismg - Sep 15, 2014 3:26:34 pm PDT #1013 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

( continues...) past the awkward teenage stage.....I wonder who the other throne's for?

" Well now," the King said, looking at them thoughtfully. "Silence from the Enchanted Forest for decades, no more than rumors from its depths, and now this." He inclined his head at Regina. "The former Queen, and," he considered Emma briefly before turning back, "the daughter of the woman the stories say is your greatest enemy." He gave them both a delighted smile. "I simply can't wait to hear what brings you to my humble home."

Regina bowed from the neck politely. "A great many things have happened since Snow White took the throne from me, Your Majesty. For now, we've found ourselves trapped in a far-off land, neither of us able to claim the throne of the Forest."

Oh, we're being extra diplomatic, are we? Emma mentally rolled her eyes and stole a glance at the...princess? She was giving them a puzzled but uninterested look. Wonder what it was like, growing up hearing about the aunt who disappeared, and then one day, your Mom's gone the same way...

"And yet," the King went on, "here you are, apparently arriving on a boat from the Enchanted Forest. So if it's so difficult to return from this exile," he spread his hands and gave them a piercing look, "what brings you to Arendelle?"

"We were hoping to meet Queen Anna." Regina paused, then deliberately turned her head towards Emma a moment. She flicked her eyes in the King's direction, then turned back casually. "It concerns her sister."

If Regina hadn't signaled her, she might have missed it, but it was there; a quick widening of the eyes, a jolt of tension in the lips, quickly controlled. Oooh, he didn't like hearing that.

"Well," he said smoothly, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but even if Anna was still here, I doubt she could tell you anything. We searched for news of Queen Elsa for years, and never-"

Emma decided it was time for the bull-rush approach. "Actually, we know where she is. In fact, she's causing a heck of a lot of trouble back home right now. We were hoping Anna could come pick her up." She smiled cheerily.

This time there was no missing it; a flash of fear, quickly wiped from his face. That is not the face of someone hearing about a family member they hoped to hear from again. I think we may have stepped in something here...

"Papa," the princess piped up. She'd lost her dull expression and was staring at them both. "If they know where Aunt Elsa is-"

The King threw up a hand, then caught himself and looked over gently. "Il-"

There was a bang and a door at the side of the hall flew open. A young man strode through, bearing down on the dais and stopping at the edge. "Yes, Father." He glared at the King. "If they do know where Aunt Elsa is..."

" Jan. " The King glared back.

Emma took a moment to study the newcomer. His cheekbones and hair showed a noticeable resemblance to his father. His clothes were of a similar cut, but in dark greens and browns. Huh. An outdoorsy type? Or is he just trying to-

The King sighed and stood. "If they have information, it's too important to discuss standing around in an audience hall." He turned to face Emma and Regina and gestured theatrically. "Permit me to make introductions: My eldest, Prince Jan," the younger man bowed shortly, "and my youngest, Princess Illyana," the girl stood and bobbed a curtsey, "and I, of course am King Hans, and I insist on being your host for tonight." He bowed, hand on heart. Regina bowed from the waist this time - very slightly. Emma just smiled and waved.

"We will, of course, be delighted to accept your hospitality, your Majesty." Regina's voice was cool and smooth.

"Excellent!" He sat back down, scanning the other people in the hall for a moment. "We'll have a quiet dinner where we can discuss what news you bring us, then you can spend the night, and we'll decide what action to take tomorrow." He gestured to one side sharply. "Mistral, summon a maid to take them to the guest suite. (continued...)


chrismg - Sep 15, 2014 3:26:35 pm PDT #1014 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

( continues...) Someone discreet, if you please."

A woman in the green livery bowed and headed out the side door. Emma took a moment to study the two children. Jan was still frowning at his father suspiciously. He glanced briefly at Emma, then away again. Illyana had sat back down, but she was staring at Emma and Regina eagerly.

After a moment, Mistral came back with a younger woman following. The King gestured expansively. "Gretchen will take you to your suite, and you can rest and freshen up before dinner. I, ah, " he studied them and smiled slightly, "believe we can provide suitable garb for you as well."

Regina bowed from the neck again. "By your leave, Your Majesty." He gestured carelessly and she walked over to the maid with Emma trailing behind. "If you please, Gretchen."

The girl gave a deep curtsey. "If you'll follow me, miladies," she said tonelessly, and led them out the door.

  • **

The guest suite was made up of two comfortable-looking bedrooms and a sitting room joining them. Out the window, they could see the sunset glow behind the mountains. Gretchen said, still with no inflection, "They should send your garments for the dinner soon. Please have the guard call me if you need anything," and left them with another brief curtsey. Before she closed the door, Emma spotted a tall, armored figure with some kind of polearm standing outside.

She frowned at the door. "She sure wasn't turning on the charm for the King's guests...and did you see that guy outside the-"

"Shh." Emma glanced over, and saw Regina concentrating on something in her hands. After a moment, she felt a shiver of magic, and a soft rushing, hissing sound filled the room.

Emma raised her eyebrows. "A white-noise spell? Is that even a thing?"

"Would you rather depend on whether this suite has taps we can run?" Emma just shrugged. "In any case, this should keep what we say private, as long as we don't shout." She shot Emma a pointed look, then went on. "It should also disrupt most scrying spells."

"Neat. So, what are we saying that needs privacy?"

Regina paused, then said quietly, "What's your... special evaluation of what the King said?"

Emma hesitated, but it wasn't like she didn't know what Regina meant. "He was lying," she said flatly. "I mean, not about the kids' names, but just about everything else he said after we mentioned Elsa was a lie, or a half-truth, or actually meant something different from what it sounded."

Regina nodded slowly. "To me, he looked like someone hearing about a threat he'd thought long-since taken care-"

There was a sharp RAP RAP RAP of knuckles on wood. Emma jumped, and Regina flicked her wrist, the noise vanishing.

"Our clothes here already?" Emma wondered out loud as she headed for the suite door, then stopped abruptly as the rapping sounded again. It was clearly not coming from the door in front of her.

"The heck?" She glanced back as the sound came a third time. "Regina?"

"In here, I think." Regina strode into one of the bedrooms. Emma followed, and found her peering into the closet. The rapping came again, and Regina reached in and knocked on the back wall. There was a definite echo.

After a moment, the back panel opened slightly with a click. Emma reached out and pulled sharply. The door opened easily, dumping a figure in green and brown onto the floor of the closet. Emma blinked. Is that...?

"Your Highness," Regina said with some amusement.

Prince Jan got up to his hands and knees, but kept his eyes on the floor. "Er, are you decent?" he asked uncertainly.

Emma snorted. "We haven't started taking off our clothes and letting down our guard yet, no."

"Good." He scrambled to his feet and looked at them urgently. "You need to leave at once. Your lives are in danger every moment you're in this castle."

Emma eyed him for a moment, then glanced at Regina, who raised an eyebrow as Emma looked at her. She flicked a look at Jan a moment, then back. Emma nodded once. Yeah, that was the (continued...)


chrismg - Sep 15, 2014 3:26:35 pm PDT #1015 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

( continues...) truth.

Regina pinned Jan with a look. "I take it your father isn't pleased at the possibility Queen Elsa might return."

He nodded sharply. "He can't bear the thought of something threatening his rule. If he thinks you can bring the true Queen back, he'll kill you, and anyone you might have talked to about it!"

" Anyone? " Emma gave him a skeptical look. "And I suppose we have to take your word for this?"

He shook his head, and gestured towards the door in the closet. "No, you don't. I can show you."

TBC