This was the thought in my head, that this breaking ship was hitting me harder than the death of a character, right before MY HEART FUCKING STOPPED BECAUSE OH MY FUCKING GOD HE KILLED WASH OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED. The entire audience fucking gasped.

For the next ten or fifteen minutes, my chest continued to feel faint, heated, dead, I don't know. I couldn't get my head around the fact that I was now living in a World Without Wash.

ita was also copping to the anxiety/trauma of seeing the ship being broken up.

I was spoiled so Wash's death didn't hit me that way.

The last thing that affected me that way was reading The World According to Garp and "I mith him" which almost made me blackout in the hallway between classes as I read it.

I just wonder about the feeling of betrayal at Wash's death. Is Shakespeare not supposed to break your heart when Cordelia dies? Are the New York dock workers not supposed to yell, "Is Little Nell dead?" Isn't that part of the deal?

But I'm wondering if it's just different coming out of a TV show. When you know the characters with more than novelistic depth.

How would it have been if Angelus had snapped Willow's neck instead of Jenny Calendar? What if he had done it the night that Oz was not seduced with the Barry White and candles? Would that have felt too cruel?

Just think about how hard it is watching the end of "The Wish" with all the characters being killed in front of your eyes. It's instantly reset, but it's still traumatic.

I just wonder about the feeling of betrayal at Wash's death. Is Shakespeare not supposed to break your heart when Cordelia dies? Are the New York dock workers not supposed to yell, "Is Little Nell dead?" Isn't that part of the deal?

It is part of the deal, and yet ... I can think of various fictional deaths that will make me cry every time I read those books or watch those movies, but none of them give me the same weird, gut-twisting feeling of betrayal that Wash's death did.

You're trying to apply logic to trauma. The two concepts don't really go together all that well.

Yeah, I agree Deena: stunned is the word. I'm still trying to process it all, but it was a fantastic ride.

I noticed that Jewel Staite has lost weight since the series, it kept kind of throwing me off because Kaylee was thinner.

Yeah, definitely thinner and the character was retconned to a degree; i.e., she's not so much of a tomboy this time, more sensitive and weepy. Not that I'm complaining, it just felt that I was looking at an alternate universe Kaylee.

Simon, he seemed to be a totally different (and new) character. I couldn't make myself pretend that he was the same person in the series. Which might explain how I was fine with the retconning in his case. What's the word? The Firefly 'verse was "reminagined" (thank you BSG) for Serenity and I can live with that.

Yeah, the death of Book suckered me into thinking I was safe thereafter. I should know better after watching seven seasons of Buffy. There were more than a couple of "No!"s exclaimed when Wash bit it.

My head's still spinning. I feel like I've crammed a season and a half of episodes into two hours of viewing. Definitely a lot of things to ponder. I noticed a few plot holes, but nothing so terrible I can't handwave and fanwank them away. You know what? I can't think of another movie like this. Everything from the structure of the plot and the language usage and all of the little touches. Can you tell I loved it?

The structure of the plot, that's something I wanted to comment on. You know how most movies have your bell curve plot development? This felt more like a rollercoaster (not to get all cliche-y). The development not only went up and down, but sideways. I couldn't tell where all of this was taking me, but I enjoyed finding out.

Well, that's enough rambling. I'm tired and should sleep. I'm very happy and encouraged that many people seem to like the movie (Yahoo rates it B for critics and A- for users). I'm crossing my fingers for a #1 or #2 for the weekend.

Posting this quickly then going back to catch up - I was at the same show as Kalshane and Tommyrot! - the 7:45 in Evanston. It was very full and I was up near the top. There were EXTREMELY loud and enthusiastic fans right behind me who had seen it twice at least.

Also, Mal falling to the ground compused exactly like Out of Gas especially struck me.

To-tal-lee. I gasped at that moment.

I was SO super unspoiled. I have been on a complete Serenity blackout for more than a month. I wept. I'll admit it. It was Zoe's last few lines about being able to make it - they made me cry. Of the three folks I was with (all Buffy fans) only one loved it as much as I. My love is an irrational oh thank you jesus for the shirtless Nathan with bedhead what the fuck are you doing to my ship oh my god you killed Wash oh my god Gina Torres is the most beautiful thing ever love. I am seeing it again on Sunday with my rommate.

OK back to catching up.

I was spoiled so Wash's death didn't hit me that way.

So glad I was unspoiled, but I don't want to be insulated from moments like that, ever.

I just wonder about the feeling of betrayal at Wash's death. Is Shakespeare not supposed to break your heart when Cordelia dies? Are the New York dock workers not supposed to yell, "Is Little Nell dead?" Isn't that part of the deal?

Yup. It's the good stuff.

taps foot impatiently, waiting for Plei to bring the silly snarky

Sigh. Fine.

Just, you know, nobody gets to kill me and eat me. Copied and pasted in from elsewhere.

My Big Firefly Theory.

Disclaimer: I enjoyed the movie. Thought it was manipulative as fuck, but well done for what it was. Still, I have this theory that won't shut up, about how Serenity is actually all about Joss's experiences with the life, death, and rebirth of Firefly.

It was the Death of Wash that did it.

The avatar character getting a stake through the heart, just when he thought he was home safe, blah blah blah. So, after congratulating Joss on getting rid of the actors who seemed the least invested in the series, I started thinking about Joss torturing and killing his avatars. See Xander's eye.

Then I started mapping shit. If I had the time enough or cared enough, I think I could write an actual essay about this and make it sound like I'm on to something instead of on something.

• The crazy River stuff maps to the weird airing schedule.
• The Haven and other safe places getting smushed = either rejection from other networks OR sudden dropping from the schedule OR the pilot not airing.
• The thing with Miranda and the people drugging = most of the viewing audience was not taken with Firefly as presented, and thus fell asleep. The remaining 13% became Reavers. Err. Browncoats. Rabid frothing fans. Whatev.
• Who are enlisted in a campaign to get the word out.
• But the show still gets a stake through the heart, after a rocky landing and hopes of the back nine getting picked up.
• I'm unclear on the part where River takes out the fans. Err. Reavers.
• Except for the part where I've now decided that River is the NEW avatar of Joss, and taking out the fans is all part of his plan to emotionally manipulate them to death.
• And I'm getting ahead of myself...

ANYHOO

• Still, through the internet and stuff like illegal downloads and then DVDs, the word gets out.
• IN YOUR FACE! Says Joss.
• Naysayer Associate guy (who represents THE MAN) (the Operative? Huh. Poor dude needs a name) lets them go. Or, you know, greenlights movie.
• Battered and bruised, they fly again in another form. Piloted by the New Improved Sexy Female Joss.

The end.

Of course, all of the above could just be my way of making myself feel better about OMG, you killed WASH!!!

And made Zoe SAD.

But Zoe being sad =Zoe in the dress.

Yeah, definitely thinner and the character was retconned to a degree; i.e., she's not so much of a tomboy this time, more sensitive and weepy. Not that I'm complaining, it just felt that I was looking at an alternate universe Kaylee.

Except for the thinner part, I couldn't disagree more. Kaylee-Firefly and Kaylee-Serenity were one in the same in my mind. Weird.