The theatre experience was actually kind of amazing. I was shocked-- I knew it was a nerdy group, but I expected New York style talk-backs and chatter. The crowd was reverent. Almost no talking by anyone. Total hush, and of course, gasps and claps at appropriate moments.

t taps foot impatiently, waiting for Plei to bring the silly snarky

Pete speaks for me.

I was so excited to come back from the movie and burble about it. It's the first movie I've seen on opening night in more than ten years, and I can't think of anything to say. I'm still stunned. I doubt I'll see it again, even when it comes out on DVD.

FWIW, the people who were most shocked by Wash's death - who felt it most keenly - seem to have benefited from seeing the movie a second time.

Not that I'm trying to line Joss' pockets. Just, I think that watching the movie unspoiled in that way changes your response to it, and his death becomes something other than a kick in the gut.

and heterosexuality.

That blew my fucking mind.

Yeah, I didn't really buy that, not his speech about the regret and not the "actual" deed.

That doesn't change the fact that I am fucking furious that he killed Wash. Wash was the teddy bear of the crew, the nice guy, the guy you'd want to have as a friend. I really would have preferred to have seen anyone else but Wash get killed. It was heartless.

It isn't like Joss to kill his own avatar, but the (fucking) meta of AT's career makes him the most likely, dammit. I have to admit I felt that same hollow sense of loss after seeing the pre-screening in June. By the third time I saw it before the opening, I was losing that sick, empty feeling from having a friend die horribly, and feeling more like it was a tragic combat loss with nobility. So it might get somewhat better for you with time, it did for me.

eta: (x-posty with Hec)

I, too, was whimpering while Serenity was getting all broke. And was still completely unprepared for the gutpunch of Wash's death. The entire audience gasped.

I thought it was really good. Full write-up here.

One of my first thoughts after the screams in the theater when Wash dies (I admit, one of the quieter ones was me), was that of course this had to happen, this way. Part of me was saying "Not Wash!" but part was remembering that this was such a Joss thing to do.

I agree with many of the critiques here, Bond!hetero!Simon, overdone dialect (I love the dialect, but it was a bit much), the retconning, the lack of time to feel the pain of Wash, some of the jumpy editing. But having said all this, I still love this movie with a passion, and I think most of my friends that I saw it with did too, to varying degrees. I was afraid that I had built the movie up too much, that it would fall flat compared to my completely unrealistic expectations. Instead, the jumpy editing just made me want to see it over and over to catch everything I missed.

By the way, I saw the movie with about 14 friends, most of whom joined us for a brief shindig after work and before the 7:15 show (Chinese food, natch, plus strawberries, sliced apples (one whole one with a knife, a la Jayne, for a centerpiece) and chocolate cake for AnotherAlaskan, who was celebrating his birthday (no protein in the cake)). We were all wearing Serenity pins designed by a friend, a few of us had Serenity tees, and the birthday boy wore his Jayne hat that I made him for Christmas last year. The theater was probably over 3/4 full, although sadly not sold out. There were about three largish groups of fans, but the others seemed to be regular folks. The only clapping was at the end, but there was lots of laughter at appropriate spots, and the aforementioned screams at Wash's death. I hope to make it to the show tomorrow, but will at least go Sunday after church.

This was the thought in my head, that this breaking ship was hitting me harder than the death of a character, right before MY HEART FUCKING STOPPED BECAUSE OH MY FUCKING GOD HE KILLED WASH OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED. The entire audience fucking gasped.

For the next ten or fifteen minutes, my chest continued to feel faint, heated, dead, I don't know. I couldn't get my head around the fact that I was now living in a World Without Wash.

ita was also copping to the anxiety/trauma of seeing the ship being broken up.

I was spoiled so Wash's death didn't hit me that way.

The last thing that affected me that way was reading The World According to Garp and "I mith him" which almost made me blackout in the hallway between classes as I read it.

I just wonder about the feeling of betrayal at Wash's death. Is Shakespeare not supposed to break your heart when Cordelia dies? Are the New York dock workers not supposed to yell, "Is Little Nell dead?" Isn't that part of the deal?

But I'm wondering if it's just different coming out of a TV show. When you know the characters with more than novelistic depth.

How would it have been if Angelus had snapped Willow's neck instead of Jenny Calendar? What if he had done it the night that Oz was not seduced with the Barry White and candles? Would that have felt too cruel?

Just think about how hard it is watching the end of "The Wish" with all the characters being killed in front of your eyes. It's instantly reset, but it's still traumatic.

I just wonder about the feeling of betrayal at Wash's death. Is Shakespeare not supposed to break your heart when Cordelia dies? Are the New York dock workers not supposed to yell, "Is Little Nell dead?" Isn't that part of the deal?

It is part of the deal, and yet ... I can think of various fictional deaths that will make me cry every time I read those books or watch those movies, but none of them give me the same weird, gut-twisting feeling of betrayal that Wash's death did.

You're trying to apply logic to trauma. The two concepts don't really go together all that well.