Thanks

Hang in there, Gud.

I'll shout out your not-death from Edinburgh Castle. Will that suit? As for the Hearts, I'm afraid they're screwed. Sorry about that.

The shouting would be lovely. The Hearts thing we'll have to work on. My dad had a trial with them in the 50s, so the maroon is in the blood. I've been all through Tynecastle and had a kick around on the pitch as a lad.

What the fuck was I fucking thinking? Why the hell couldn't the Ph.D. thing have worked out like it was supposed to? I would be content and labby for the majority of my time until someone told me I wasn't motivated. But at least I knew where I was and what I was doing. I've never written a review paper before. And in a few months, I'm going to have find a job. And soon after that, I have to find a career. How am I supposed to make any money? I don't even know how to write a fucking résumé. I've been in school forever and it's all I know how to do. I'm in unfamiliar waters now and I'm scared the fuck out of my mind.

I'm sorry P-C. For what it's worth, you don't need to plan your whole life in a day. One step at a time is the sane way to go.

Is there someone at the school you can talk to about finding a job? They can be really helpful.

I'm going to meet with my MIL (who I get along with really well) for lunch to talk about my marriage. That could be a good sign that things can be fixed.

How am I supposed to make any money? I don't even know how to write a fucking résumé. I've been in school forever and it's all I know how to do. I'm in unfamiliar waters now and I'm scared the fuck out of my mind.

I know this may not help, but I think everyone about to leave school has felt this way, and it will be OK. You will figure it out. Just wait for the panic to cease, and you'll be fine.

Signed,
I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing other than surviving till a couple of years ago. Even now, it's pretty much in flux.

I feel like I'm running out of time, every second. There are too many things. I have to take care of this loan thing. I should probably start a savings account. I have to consider the possibility that this was the stupidest decision I ever made.

beathen has a modified tag. Oh, and uh, from the looks of it, it's going to be modified every day. And as much as I like you, beathen, I may not make an announcement every single day. It's the Josh Groban thing.

I know this may not help, but I think everyone about to leave school has felt this way, and it will be OK.

Yeah, I realize that this is basically how I would have felt three years from now anyway. But I knew it would be three years from now. I hadn't expected to have to deal with it NOW. I had no prep time.

Just don't get yourself into a panic attack.

loan thing- student loan? pay off? arrange payments? They'll work with you, often they won't demand payment for a few months after graduation, so you can get yourself set up. Start a savings account once you have a job. beating yourself up about your decision- pointless. You made it, and you know it was right for you, and now you're going to start the rest of your life with it, and it will be fine.

{{{Gud}}} I'm so sorry!

PC, listen to Nora, for she is wise. I'm sorry you're having this panic. I think it's natural, especially since you've recently made such a big decision. Try to focus on the here and now. Don't look too much into the future. Get through the next moment...the next minute...the next hour. Things are gonna be ok.

I decided to take some sleeping pills and go back to bed. I just got up again and made myself a bacon, egg and cheese scramble. Yum!

beathen has a modified tag. Oh, and uh, from the looks of it, it's going to be modified every day. And as much as I like you, beathen, I may not make an announcement every single day. It's the Josh Groban thing.

I wasn't expecting you to announce it every day anyhow. (That would be very cumbersome). On Groban - it's not like I'm gonna marry him or anything. Geez.