We should discuss, because I've lived your theory.
We should. I would like that. Or loathe it at times, but it would be more than worth it.
I'll have to check out Great Write. I don't really go there.
Totally unbearable at times, Tep. Crawling out of my skin seems divine. And I was okay with the concept (of our divorce) for a while. It is just so palpable now -- with the last of the papers and him moving out of state in a couple of weeks. I am not just losing my husband because I lost him a while ago, but this person who knows me better than anyone and has seen every single facet of me without flinching, and loving me, for the last eight years. I'm not sure how to not be in each other's lives but I can't see how we can be either.
the idea of Negative Intimacy (and also, more applicable in my case, Neutral Intimacy). That deep knowledge of somebody can get flipped pretty quickly during a separation - crazy mirror world where the love becomes contempt and the trust is pain.
'Splain more? Although I think I am just exhausted and my brain shut down. Can I ask you more about this tomorrow? You know, when I have a brain again and you haven't been up since 4. (Yes, it is only me not understanding but I am
sharing the wealth spreading the not understandyness.)
and if I then don't feel bad about it, that's OK, right?
More than okay connie... You don't need to feel bad about it at all.
P-C!!!!!!!
Missed you! Welcome back!!!
this person who knows me better than anyone
I suppose it must be like trying to break a habit. You've got to relearn reactions and ways of doing things.
Can I ask you more about this tomorrow?
That's fine. Unscrew the top of your head, put your brain in a jar full of brandy. It'll be waiting for you tomorrow. Rest your weary head, sweet Cass. Lay your weary head down in the Hive-lap, and we'll pet your hair and you can rest.
PCPCPCPCPCPCPCPCPCPC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so glad you're home!
ETA: You didn't bring a wife home, right?
That would be the theory. And the methadone isn't all that great for you either.
I wrote a short story about 15 years ago where the relationship/morphine metaphor was there. Crappy story but there were a few good passages. I should find it. God knows I could make them work now.
Random weirdness before I shut down for the night... Watched some edutainment show on crime the other day. Might have been the Masterminds series. And they had Arizona bank robbers. I spent the whole show waiting to see my exGF's dad on the tapes. This relates only in that he robbed many many banks to pay for a heroin habit before being caught and then dying soon after of lung cancer. He wasn't on the show, it was a gang from a few years earlier. But it was surreal to watch. And reminded me of a very strange time in my life.
Lay your weary head down in the Hive-lap, and we'll pet your hair and you can rest.
Yeah, I'm going to do this.
I think my last post was TMOtherPeople'sI but I am leaving it for tonight at least.
P-C! Welcome back!
Hugs and ~ma to all that need it.
In a quiet sort of way, I had a very nice evening. We went to Target to spend a couple of stray gift cards, and enjoyed being out of the house with the three of us together--it happens suprisingly rarely. When we got home I had one of those rare effortless writing sessions and whipped out five pages in an hour and a half. And I think they're pretty decent pages, too.
Bedtime now. Choir tomorrow, which means waking up Too Darn Early.
{{{Cass}}}
I love your tag, by the way. I read that book years ago, and that line has always stuck with me.
ETA: You didn't bring a wife home, right?
Well, funny stor--
Just kidding.
Also, who wants to explain the letter tags?
You must be patient, little one, and all will be clear.
Some day.
