A large, toasty hamburger.

Yeah, I think so....

Half my job is taking messages. It's always so funny to say "Would you like to leave a message?" and have the caller say yes and then wait for a beep.

Oh, lord, yes, -t. I thought I was the only one! There's always the long, long silence, and the bewildered question about the voice mail, to which the increasingly weary answer is "I am the voice mail." You'd think that leaving a message with an actual human would be a novelty, but the caller is almost invariably bewildered and mournful at the prospect.

I intended that to be a sympathetic bitter-fest, but perhaps I was too terse. Was not mocking. Was wishing that I could have a day free of obligation right along with you.

Sorry about that. Pre-interview hysteria.

The nice lady would like a writing sample, so I think I made it to the next round. This is going to take forever.

Of course, meteorologists have upgraded the storm to 12 inches, so I may get that day tomorrow...

I swear to god, I would never leave my house during winter. I would huddle in a fetal position in front of a fire for four months.

As in "a large, above ground vault".

Yes, and you need a hyphen between above and ground.

I thought I was the only one! There's always the long, long silence, and the bewildered question about the voice mail, to which the increasingly weary answer is "I am the voice mail." You'd think that leaving a message with an actual human would be a novelty, but the caller is almost invariably bewildered and mournful at the prospect.

It's like you're right here, answering my phone! Except when they say "Is there voice mail?" I say "there's just me".

Leaving the comma in.

I swear to god, I would never leave my house during winter. I would huddle in a fetal position in front of a fire for four months.

You know, if it weren't for the whole stupid need-to-get-paid deal, I would.

I swear to god, I would never leave my house during winter. I would huddle in a fetal position in front of a fire for four months.

You can't imagine my dismay at not being able to hibernate.

so I think I made it to the next round

Yes, and you need a hyphen between above and ground.

I just had an appointment moved an hour. I was about to leave for it. Think I will leave anyway and stop by the zoo for the time. Because I can hike for 40 minutes and not stress that I am not going to the gym because my yoga pants are filthy rantybrain. And there are naked mole rats.

Yes, and you need a hyphen between above and ground.

Seriously? I actually was typing it as one word "aboveground". Though I didn't in my post. Because I am a bonehead. (eta: Word doesn't like the hyphen. And congrats on making it to the next round, Dana! As well as sympathy on the taking forever part)

Other things I don't understand:

Why Lyle Lovett isn't more popular

Why I am getting asked "why was this done this way" questions about a part of the project I didn't work on, by the person who did work on it.

Why I have to spend the day in the office, when I should be outside, driving fast, with the top down.

Why I still have my headache, after 3 advil.

I don't get it professionally, but my mother-in-law invariably has to explain to me in great detail that she didn't expect to get to talk to me, that she was planning on leaving a message, but now that she gets to talk to me she is just so pleased! before she actually gets around to telling me what she was leaving a message about.

Are there commercially available products that do that ear irrigation thing, without, you know, having to talk to a human and go actually see a doctor? I seem to remember my mom doing it to me when I was a child, with the little blue ball squegee/syringe/squishy thing.