I tell you I have this theory. It goes where, you're the one who's not my sister. Cuz mom adopted you from a shoe box full of baby howler monkeys, and never told you cuz it could hurt your delicate baby feelings.

Dawn ,'Selfless'


Natter 31 But Looks 29  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


ChiKat - Dec 23, 2004 11:01:54 am PST #305 of 10002
That man was going to shank me. Over an omelette. Two eggs and a slice of government cheese. Is that what my life is worth?

I have cookies! Sent to us by a client. Now, I understand our vendors sending in holiday goodies. We spend money with them all year long, they send us a few holiday goodies as a thanks.

But, our clients? They spend a crapload of money on us AND give us holiday goodies? It kinda rocks.


Allyson - Dec 23, 2004 11:04:29 am PST #306 of 10002
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica

I need a sign

Will this do?


§ ita § - Dec 23, 2004 11:06:08 am PST #307 of 10002
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Prefer this.

Oh, god, I'm getting a Jamaican accent in my head. This won't end well.


shrift - Dec 23, 2004 11:07:07 am PST #308 of 10002
"You can't put a price on the joy of not giving a shit." -Zenkitty

"Running around like a crazy person without even taking occasional breaks for porn."

I should not fill out this survey today, for I am tempted to copy and paste that. I'm also thinking about listing my job title as:

Data Monkey
Data Jockey
Commander Data
Data-lata-ding-dong
Files & Records


DXMachina - Dec 23, 2004 11:07:52 am PST #309 of 10002
You always do this. We get tipsy, and you take advantage of my love of the scientific method.

We just discovered we have way more presents for older niece than we do for younger niece, who is 4. Any hive mind suggestions for last minute gifts?

Tens and twenties?

Drizzle, drazzle, drozzle....:: fwump::

Help me, Mr. Wizard!


Kalshane - Dec 23, 2004 11:08:52 am PST #310 of 10002
GS: If you had to choose between kicking evil in the head or the behind, which would you choose, and why? Minsc: I'm not sure I understand the question. I have two feet, do I not? You do not take a small plate when the feast of evil welcomes seconds.

I suppose it wouldn't be a good idea to write down my job description as "doing shit what is more important than helping you all re-engineer our processes."

Probably not.

I hate doing job-related surveys. Last year when they were re-organizing the dept they had us list our responsibilities and major accomplishments. I asked my boss if I could list successfully dealing with a specific end-user who was notoriously obnoxious as an accomplishment.


§ ita § - Dec 23, 2004 11:11:11 am PST #311 of 10002
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Oh, dear. My work filter now blocks my wet men site.

Like they can really stop me.

But I feel very startled, now that they're blocking me from my own stuff. It's not that adult. Sometimes men that are wet have no clothes on. It's just life. There are no goolies!


flea - Dec 23, 2004 11:11:56 am PST #312 of 10002
information libertarian

In further day-from-hell news, I could not find my stocking-requirement foil-wrapped santas. And at the Eckerd's in which I was looking, all the Christmas candy was on sale, and they were putting out the Valentine's Day candy. I exlaimed in shock and horror, and the woman stocking the shelves said, "It's not that far away!" Ack! What are the last-minute Christmas shoppers supposed to do?


Ginger - Dec 23, 2004 11:13:02 am PST #313 of 10002
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda

Due to our company being acquired, I have to fill out "a survey to determine how we spend our time and to identify opportunities for optimization and common barriers across functional groups."

Yuck. We had to do that in order to determine how many FTEs (full-time equivalents) our department required, prior to being MIPed (our term for being laid off as a result of the Management Improvement Process). They wouldn't accept my answer to "How long does it take to write a newsletter article?" which was "How long is a piece of rope?"


Kat - Dec 23, 2004 11:15:25 am PST #314 of 10002
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo

What are the last-minute Christmas shoppers supposed to do?

Buy a heart-shaped box of Russell Stover chocolates?