I suppose it wouldn't be a good idea to write down my job description as "doing shit what is more important than helping you all re-engineer our processes."

Probably not.

I hate doing job-related surveys. Last year when they were re-organizing the dept they had us list our responsibilities and major accomplishments. I asked my boss if I could list successfully dealing with a specific end-user who was notoriously obnoxious as an accomplishment.

Oh, dear. My work filter now blocks my wet men site.

Like they can really stop me.

But I feel very startled, now that they're blocking me from my own stuff. It's not that adult. Sometimes men that are wet have no clothes on. It's just life. There are no goolies!

In further day-from-hell news, I could not find my stocking-requirement foil-wrapped santas. And at the Eckerd's in which I was looking, all the Christmas candy was on sale, and they were putting out the Valentine's Day candy. I exlaimed in shock and horror, and the woman stocking the shelves said, "It's not that far away!" Ack! What are the last-minute Christmas shoppers supposed to do?

Due to our company being acquired, I have to fill out "a survey to determine how we spend our time and to identify opportunities for optimization and common barriers across functional groups."

Yuck. We had to do that in order to determine how many FTEs (full-time equivalents) our department required, prior to being MIPed (our term for being laid off as a result of the Management Improvement Process). They wouldn't accept my answer to "How long does it take to write a newsletter article?" which was "How long is a piece of rope?"

What are the last-minute Christmas shoppers supposed to do?

Buy a heart-shaped box of Russell Stover chocolates?

Last year when they were re-organizing the dept they had us list our responsibilities and major accomplishments. I asked my boss if I could list successfully dealing with a specific end-user who was notoriously

When I was a full-time M$FT employee, my manager always reminded me that listing Did not kill co-workers as an accomplishment, while showing my admirable restraint and team spirit, probably wasn't appropriate for year-end reviews.

Jilli, HA! The sentiment would have been improved if you had added a "Yet" to that accomplishment.

Who knew celebrities swearing could be so cool? Zach Braff's is by far the best.

Jilli, HA! The sentiment would have been improved if you had added a "Yet" to that accomplishment.

Oooh, that would have been perfect.

Of course, the last!ever! review I had to fill out was right after I had been told I was being laid off. "If I'm being laid off, why do I have to go through the review process?" I asked. "Because we said so" was the answer. So, in the Goals for the coming year section I put "Seek new career opportunities with a team that is less-prone to re-orgs and more committed to supporting a friendly, efficient workplace."

We had to do that in order to determine how many FTEs (full-time equivalents) our department required, prior to being MIPed (our term for being laid off as a result of the Management Improvement Process).

My department has two people. Theoretically, they could reduce that number. If reduced, I'd laugh my way to the unemployment office. If left the sole occupant of my department, I would promptly quit.